
She saw the signs.
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Aug 08, 2019
Photo: Instagram

The murders by gun of nine people in Dayton, Ohio has most of America asking one question: when we will do something about gun violence in this country? The media seems to be at a loss about how to cover the story. Do we say the shooter's name, or not give him the "glory"? Do we politicize the event and have a conversation about guns, or do we focus on the personal details of the victims? Now, one woman is coming forward with more information about the shooter and it's changing the direction of the conversation. Who is Adelia Johnson? She's the woman who briefly dated the Dayton shooter, and now she's opening up about her time with the man.
1. Who Is Adelia Johnson?
Adelia Johnson, a former girlfriend of the 24-year-old man who shot and killed nine people, including his younger sister, in an attack outside of a bar in Dayton, Ohio on this past Sunday, is speaking out. In an essay that she wrote on Medium, Adelia gives more insight into the man she knew. She paints a picture of a man who was deeply troubled with mental illness who struggled constantly with thoughts of violence. “I have no idea what his motivation was. I will never know,” Adelia wrote in her essay. Speaking out about her brief relationship with the shooter (they only dated for a handful of months) provides scary insight into the man's mind and motivations.
Adelia Johnson told @TODAYshow she met Connor Betts in a psychology class at Sinclair Community College in Dayton and the two bonded over their shared struggle with mental illness. She spoke of a "final red flag" in their relationship: https://t.co/xCuUfl3y3F?
— NBC10 Philadelphia (@NBCPhiladelphia) August 6, 2019
RELATED: Sister Of Dayton Shooter Megan Betts Was One Of The First And Youngest To Die In His Rampage
2. Their First Date
According to Adelia, if the shooter had a motive for his crimes, it wasn't one of the motives that have been tossed about in the news following the tragedy. “There wasn’t a hate crime. He fought for equality. This wasn’t a crime of passion. He didn’t get passionate enough. This wasn’t very premeditated. He wasn’t a thorough planner," she wrote. Adelia was aware of the darker corners of his mind, she wrote. She reveals in her essay that on even on their very first date he spoke at length about the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting, showing her a video of the attack and narrating as it played out.
Caitlyn ‘Adelia’ Johnson, ex-girlfriend of Connor Betts, talks about her experiences in her own words. https://t.co/d4lRDQFm9j
— The Blade (@toledonews) August 6, 2019
3. Struggles With Mental Illness
“He trusted me with so much of his darkness that I forgot most of it,” wrote Adelia, and from her account, his darkness seemed central to his identity. He often talked to her about world tragedies or his struggles with suicidal thoughts, but Adelia wasn't put off by these things, she had her own experience with mental illness. She was also struck by what a "perfect gentleman" he could be, the picture of sweetness, smiling when she put off a kiss after their first date because she wanted to kiss him sober. She assumed that his jokes about wanting to hurt others was his way of expressing thoughts that would otherwise simply fester in his mind.
To keep up with today's biggest stories, visit https://t.co/F40dXf5HRj.
• Adelia Johnson said that on their first date, Betts showed her footage from a mass shooting and later took her to a gun range.https://t.co/AxAW1EFKS7— INSIDER News (@insidernews) August 6, 2019
RELATED: Was Slain Ole Miss Student Ally Kostial Pregnant With Her Alleged Killer's Baby?
4. Warning Signs?
In her essay, Adelia makes it clear that one of the things she bonded with the shooter over the most was their shared experience with mental illness. Adelia says that in their earlier conversations he revealed to her that he had bipolar disorder and suspected that he might also suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder, she, in turn, shared that she struggled with serious anxiety. She also gave insight into his views on guns, saying that he loved them but he didn't believe that people who were mentally ill should be allowed to have access to them. According to a high school friend of the shooter, he once was suspended for creating a list of students he wished that he could kill or rape.
A more thorough interview. (This still had to cut it because it was about 30 minutes long, but what are you going to do.)https://t.co/sd9kR2HyOe
— Adelia Johnson (@adeliaofficial_) August 7, 2019
5. Adelia's Red Flags
There are a couple of critical moments in her relationship that Adelia shares in her essay. To her, these moments stood out as red flags, indicating to her that the relationship and the man himself might be too big of a risk to continue with. According to Adelia, in March or April of this year, while touring with his band, he was drunk to the point of slurring and called her saying that “he wanted to hurt a lot of people.” Then, in May of this year, Adelia says that he told her that he wanted to leave a letter at his ex-girlfriend's house that simply read "You can't outrun your past." She said he tried to make it sound like a joke, but she also knew that he struggled with "uncontrollable urges to do things," like the time he set a fire in an empty and abandoned building. Adelia knew she needed to end the relationship.
‘IT WAS SHOCK’: Adelia Johnson, a former girlfriend of Dayton shooting suspect Connor Betts, described Betts showing her a video from a mass shooting on their first date, but added she was shocked when she learned he was behind the deadly attack. https://t.co/6VxsdbH7m5 pic.twitter.com/IFgAIqzkht
— World News Tonight (@ABCWorldNews) August 7, 2019
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6. The Horrifying Truth
Less than a minute after he launched his attack on the innocents of Dayton, the shooter was shot and killed by authorities responding to the scene. Adelia describes in her essay receiving a text from a mutual friend of her and the shooter who speculated that he could be the gunman, but even at that point, it wasn't something that Adelia thought was a serious possibility. While she knew that the shooter had a contentious relationship with his parents, she knew that his sister (who he killed in the attack) was someone of whom he was very fond. She also shared that she and the shooter often talked to each other at length about serial killers.
A series of red flags prompted Caitlyn “Adelia” Johnson to break up with the man accused in the nation’s most recent mass shooting https://t.co/ohsjlb2CFv
— Local 4 WDIV Detroit (@Local4News) August 6, 2019
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cats, Batman and Margot. She's an experienced generalist with a passion for lifestyle, geek news, pop culture, and true crime.