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Does the Bible really say that I shouldn't marry someone who doesn’t believe my faith?
By Steven Hall — Written on Sep 22, 2019
The Bible states in Corinthians 6:14: "Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers".
Being unequally yoked is when a single Catholic person dates or marries a non-Catholic.
Generally, when this happens some outlet’s perceive this to be a total disaster.
Among non-Catholic Christians, begin unequally yoked can mean dating a person who does not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
But, it can also mean that both partners do, and one is pursuing their faith.
One person has turned against it or not actively trying to connect with God with the same passion.
"Unbelievers" or people who don't go to church, don't believe that God exist tend to have polar opposite viewpoints from their spouse who does.
The Christian/Catholic spouse can see their partner's beliefs as spiritually dangerous.
This divide can lead to one party being forced to move away from their beliefs, and that usually is the religious person.
Paul most likely wasn’t necessarily talking about marriage when he wrote it, but ultimately that quote could be used for a wide range of topics.
Generally, it’s not my right to say which person you should marry.
Ultimately, there are consequences to marrying someone from a different religion.
What the Bible is saying is that marrying an unbeliever can lead to difficulties in the relationship.
That's why being unequally yoke is often considered to be 'wrong.'
Here are the 3 main reasons why marrying someone who doesn't have the same value system that you do, when it comes to religious beliefs can be disastrous for marriage:
1. Your spiritual life will be affected.
You want to go to church, but your partner...doesn't.
As someone who is religiously involved in their faith one of the components is to go to mass every Sunday. Now if you have someone who is unwilling to go with you that could lead to a divide.
It can lead to a grudge between the irreligious partner because their husband/wife is spending a lot of time in a place that they don’t approve of.
2. Your social life may be compromised.
Your partner if you’re not married could possibly want to have sex before marriage.
They may want to do things that you may see as a sin. They may want to lead you down a different path from where you see yourself going.
3. Raising children will be harder.
Will the child be Catholic? That’s the biggest question to ask if you’re looking eventually for a kid.
If both partners aren’t 100% on a choice it can lead to arguments and divides, which can hurt the child's well being.
Can you resolve the problem of being unequally yoked couple?
Faith is a mindset issue, and it's difficult to come to the same conclusion without personal conviction.
The best way to convert someone to your mindset is by being your best version of self.
1. Don't try to force the issue.
Show why your values are better by being the ideal Catholic role model, by simply being a good person.
When you can pray for your spouse and discussing these topics can lead to change.
2. Don't judge.
Come at this from the perspective of a conversation, not a debate.
Debates have the idea that in the end one person wins and one loses when truly both of you win when you come to an agreement.
3. Don't use guilt as a weapon.
Avoid using emotional rhetoric rather use rational reasons from saints such as Thomas Aquinas to articulate why you believe what you believe.
It’s important to know your arguments inside and out and a lot of that can be learned through simply reading the Bible.
When people talk about religion or politics, in general, they tend to talk very broadly about why they don’t believe in God.
4. Be understanding.
So asking your partner for more specifics will help you to not get stuck on defending generalized statements.
It’s also important to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to find points where you both agree on. After all, relationships need shared values.
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Steven Hall is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture and relationship topics.