Meet Chris Morgan — The Man Behind The Viral Bagel Boss Fight Video
But we just wanted some bagels...
Instagram Somebody get this man a massage and some chamomile tea — he could definitely stand to chill out a little! A few days ago, a woman in Bay Shore, Long Island, was minding her own business and — as she now famously said — just wanted some bagels from Bagel Boss Cafe (which makes delicious hand-rolled New York bagels, by the way) when she witnessed a man going off about his diminutive stature being a hindrance with the ladies. As a member of Gen Z, she figured — correctly — that recording what would come next would forever change her life, and make the little guy a social media celebrity. And so, thanks to the quick-thinking of this intrepid Gen Z'er, here we are asking the question: who is Chris Morgan?
1. This seems to be "his thing."
Thanks to the Amy Fisher/Joey Buttafuoco scandal, the general public perception of Long Island is that it's full of loud-mouthed, obnoxious suburbanites with short fuses and long nails. And according to the New York Post, Chris Morgan has no intention of changing that perception. After his rant at Bay Shore's Bagel Boss went viral, the outlet uncovered his YouTube channel, which was a treasure trove of similar rants against...well...pretty much everybody he came in contact with.
"The Long Island bagel store patrons who were on the receiving end of a wacky customer’s now-viral rant about his diminutive stature are a few of the many who have gotten an earful from him. Bloviating bagel buff Chris Morgan appears to have a YouTube channel filled with videos of himself unleashing rage at 7-Eleven workers, law enforcement and neighbors over his insecurities about his 5-foot stature," reports the outlet, who also reports that he'd hurled invectives racist enough to get him added to the Trump White House's Christmas Card list.
Something tells us that it's not his height that's a turn-off.
Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
2. Chris Morgan feels he was bullied.
The best part of the Bagel Boss viral video, according to an informal Twitter poll, is towards the end, when a six-foot-six modern-day Robert the Bruce takes down Morgan, then calmly stands back up and waits patiently for his egg-and-cheese on a bagel. (Don't underestimate the power of an egg-and-cheese on a bagel, folks!)
Inside Edition spoke to Morgan after his rant went viral, and despite the fact that he belittled women throughout his rant, he somehow feels this story's hero is the aggressor, and he's the victim.
"When asked if a bagel shop was the place to take out his anger with other customers in the store, he simply quipped, “Why not?" He then snapped back, saying, “What do you mean 'take it out?' You act like I committed a mass shooting or something.” He then referred the man in the video who tackled him, saying, “That guy, twice my size, that women love — the bullies, attacked me.” Morgan then told Inside Edition producer Allison Hall, who conducted the interview, “I don’t really like you that much, so, this interview is over,” reports the outlet.
Whoo. Chile. THE GHETTO!
Behold, the egg-and-cheese on a bagel, the unsung hero of many a New York morning.
3. He also compares himself to a beloved civil rights activist.
Martin Luther King Jr. was a beloved civil rights activist whose efforts helped African-Americans in the United States achieve otherwise impossible strides (although, admittedly, the United States still has a long way to go when it comes to race relations). He was also unceremoniously murdered in a racially-motivated hate crime.
And according to the New York Daily News, Chris Morgan feels that he is the 21st century's answer to Martin Luther King Jr.
“I’m the modern-day prophet. I’m the modern-day Martin Luther King . . . They got shot because they wanted peace, which is what I want, so if that happens to me, so be it. I’m not changing. I’ve took enough and I’m sticking to it," he said, according to the outlet.
No caption needed.
4. Thanks to his now-viral Bagel Boss rant, Chris Morgan says that his luck with the ladies has improved significantly.
Hey, if Charles Manson and the Menendez brothers can have groupies, anyone can, right?
According to a different report for The New York Post, Chris Morgan says that even though he spent most of the video belittling women, his now-viral rant has resulted in a significant influx of new dating prospects.
"Morgan said his phone has rung nonstop after he was caught on camera Wednesday morning at the local Bagel Boss location, where he was lashing out over being repeatedly rejected by women because of his 5-foot stature. “My phone is blowing up like the president,” Morgan told The Post. “I haven’t even got to my friends,” reported the outlet.
Sigh.