4 Fool-Proof Ways To Change Your Life Drastically When You're In A Rut
Its time to chose happiness!
Alvin Mahmudov on Unsplash Do you ever feel trapped? Like you hate your job, your apartment, your town, your relationship, your choices, your friends, your weight, your hair, your clothes, or just anything and everything?
Do you ever feel like the air around you is a brick wall trapping you in with just enough oxygen to breath but not enough to alleviate the weight in your chest? That every day you wake up and you are going through the motions, but you’re on auto pilot. You aren’t where you want to be in your life. You are somewhere floating above yourself, watching a montage of poor choices and monotony.
It’s time to change.
You can totally do it. I know what you’re thinking, “What am I gonna do, move? All my friends are here!” or “You think I’m gonna leave him? Is anyone else going to want me? I don’t want to be alone.” or “You think I can lose this weight? I’ve been trying for years and nothing is happening!” “You think I should leave my job? I don’t want to learn a whole new job!”
The answer to all of these questions is YES. Yes, you can.
The change starts in your brain. It is all a mindset. You are stronger than you think you are. Braver than you think you are. Better than you think you are.
You are going to be able to show the world how happy you can be, because you are finally going to be happy. You are going to figure out how to find the single seed of bravery inside of you, and nourish it until you grow a garden of greatness, a cacophony of courage, and a forest of fervor. You are going to be so happy. So, let’s get started!
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1. Lose the weight.
This one is hard because we always start out great. We start out going to the gym and drinking a smoothie instead of having lunch. We start out making a dinner of only spinach and looking in the mirror and trying to see if we lost 5lbs on the first day. Sometimes we can do it for a couple days, a week, or even a month. We may even lose some weight. But something happens and we stop.
Maybe something bad happens. Maybe you go through a heart break, maybe you feel embarrassed, maybe you get overlooked at work. Whatever it is, you come home, snuggle up on the couch, and eat your feelings.
One slip-up is all it takes to get back into bad habits.
And sometimes, it’s something good that happens! First, it’s a party where you tell yourself, okay I’m only gonna have a couple drinks, and then a couple drinks turn into late night McDonalds, which turns into a major hangover the next day which means you miss the gym and substitute a greasy breakfast. Then its dinner time and you figure you already didn’t diet that day, so you might as well eat spaghetti. Then the next day you think, "well I didn’t diet yesterday and technically tomorrow is my cheat day so why should I just diet for one day". Then you start feeling bloated and sluggish and you lose your nerve. You stop working out. You stop dieting and your back. How do we change the cycle?
We start by forgiving our mistakes. We are all going to slip up. No one expects you to start a diet and then never eat anything delicious again. Maybe you have one cheat day a week that is sometimes two cheat days, that can roll over into a cheat week. This is all okay.
What you need to do is when you slip up: get back on the horse! Maybe you had two days where you had 3 sleeves of cookies a full pizza and two trips to taco bell. It happens.
Wake up the next day look at yourself in the mirror. Tell yourself you got this. Believe it. Go to the gym. Eat the spinach. And if the very next day you slip up again its okay.
The only way you are ever going to lose weight is if you accept your mistakes and don’t lean into them. Accept yourself for your short comings and try to overcome them, without shaming them.
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2. Leave the Job.
We have all had jobs that are draining. Maybe you’ve worked your whole life toward a career goal, and when you reached it, it wasn’t what you thought. Maybe you work at a monotonous 9-5 and the endless clocking in and out is starting to wear on you. Maybe you work at a job where you feel unappreciated, or under-valued, or under-utilized. Maybe you feel unstimulated and uninspired and uniterested.
Whatever the reason you feel like its time for a change. But change is scary. How do you leave a job that pays your bills, and keeps food on your table? How do you leave a job where you know what to expect, and a job where even if you hate it, you can rely on it? How do you leave something you hate, when you are so comfortable with it?
The answer here is baby steps. Baby steps edit your resume. Baby steps search for jobs that interest you. Baby steps think of a career change. Baby steps start applying to jobs.
Set a goal for yourself. Apply to 5 jobs a week. There are so many sites where you can research jobs in your area. Go to interviews. You don’t have to commit to anything just because you are interviewing. See what it would be like. Imagine yourself at a new job. Maybe take a pay-cut if you need to. You will find that you will be happier making less money at a job you love.
You can leave the job. Just take it small steps.
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3. Break it off.
This one can get sticky. Sometimes when we’re living our lives almost in a trance, we don’t realize how far things have gone. Maybe you get asked out on a date. One date turns to two, then three then all of the sudden you’re in a relationship. Maybe you were in love with him once, but he’s changed, or you’ve changed. Maybe he’s holding you back, or maybe he’s pushing you to be someone you are not.
Whatever the reason, you feel its time to end things, trust your feelings.
If there was once a great love or great passion, I don’t recommend coming to this decision lightly. Maybe see if you can work through your issues. Maybe you can. But if you are with someone that you do not love, or someone that is holding you back from your happiness it is time to leave.
How? How do you leave someone who loves you? Maybe you rely on them for financial support, maybe you rely on their emotional support. Maybe you really and truly love them, but you know they are not good for you. How do you leave that person? You need to start by getting a good support system around you. Find people in your life, even if you’re not especially close to them, who are strong and supportive and care for you. Find yourself friends who will take you out and help to mend your aching heart.
Switch things up with your living situation. If you live with your significant other, you have to move out. Find an apartment that is completely yours. If they move out of your home, or you never lived together, redecorate. Paint your house. Make it feel like a brand-new space that can inspire creativity, hard work, and maybe new romance.
Give yourself a treat every day after your breakup. One thing every evening to look forward to, a reward to remind yourself that you did great today. Maybe a glass of wine, maybe a bowl of ice cream, maybe on an especially hard day buy yourself a new dress or take yourself out to eat. You are going to make it through this. You are a smart and strong person who can and will do this. You need to constantly remember that you deserve big, great, wonderful love. If what you have isn’t it, you have the strength to make that change.
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4. Move and start fresh.
This is my favorite life change. It is the hardest thing to do, but it is the best solution if you feel just out of control in your life. Start fresh. If you are unhappy in your job, in your relationship, with your weight, with your friends, with your habits, and with yourself. Move. It’s the most harmoniously perfect change. Move yourself away from the things that are holding you back. This isn’t to say if you just relocate all of your problems are solved. There are likely deeper issues that you need to address and for that you can see a councilor or talk to some friends or just do some soul searching.
If you are living a life that you are unhappy with, and you don’t know what else to do, move. Pack up your stuff and hit the road!
Find new friends that keep you away from self-destructive habits. Find a new job in a new city that will help inspire you and refocus you! Rent an apartment with high ceilings and a great view and make it your own! Be with someone who values you! This year is going to be the best year of your life if you just believe you can change the things you don’t like. You can!
Remember that you are strong, you are brave, you are kind, and you are the person of who’s happiness is most in your control. You can change your life. Start small. Embrace your short comings. Celebrate your strengths. Learn who you are. Change what you do not like. Get up every single day and try. You can do this. This is your life, so be proud of it.
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Kaitlin Kaiser is a writer who covers zodiac and astrology content, pop culture, religion and relationship topics.