Photo: David Bartus | Pexels / Minerva Studio | Canva
How important is a first impression when it comes to dating?
By Unwritten — Last updated on Dec 11, 2023
By Natalie Trznadel
Ladies, I’m sure this question has been in your mind before.
Maybe you thought to yourself that men are shallow, and they simply look at female assets and ignore the rest.
Or perhaps you may have thought men focus on your eyes, what you say, and how you behave.
Unfortunately, I can’t answer your questions on behalf of all the men out there, but I can give you a general idea of what men judge you on.
I surveyed fifteen men, who were more than willing to set the record straight and explain to you what they look at first when they spot a girl they might be interested in.
Let me tell you, you’re in for a treat!
I asked these men what they judge a girl on and what makes them want to date her.
Here 15 guys tell us what they first judge a girl on:
1. Honesty
“The first time I see a girl, I judge if she seems sincere/true to what I expected. After that, I wonder if she’s interested in me.” – Mark, 26
2. Fun-loving
“I check if she’s good fun. The most important thing for me after that is trust.” – Johnson, 21
3. Bonding by a good sense of humor
“I judge her on her humor. If someone struggles to make me laugh, then they will not be much fun in the future. The most important thing for me is the ability to connect. Connecting to that person on levels such as politics, views, interests in; song, music, movies, etc. Connection for me is the most important thing.” – Cían, 22
Can we just appreciate this deep answer? Why are the best guys always taken?!
4. No judgment here
“If I’m interested, I would never judge. The most important for me when I start to date her depends on the chemistry.” – Simon, 24
5. Just be yourself
“I’m looking at the way she’s behaving — if she’s natural or not. It’s very important for me. The most important thing to me is that she can be herself around me and be kind to others. Above all, be kind. You don’t want to be with someone who’s not nice to people around them.” – Peter, 32
Here’s something all of us should take home — we should all be ourselves no matter what.
The right person will find us and like us for who we are.
6. Worldly and elegant
“If she has a sophisticated “taste” regarding her manner and outlook. I also look at intelligence.” – Daniel, 27
7. Confidence is key
“I judge the way she’s carrying herself. I like confidence. I also need to know that she’s real and that we have things in common.” – Diego, 26
8. Someone who can appreciate the funny side of things
“I usually focus on her eyes and face as a whole. I try to get a feel for her humor and whether or not I am interested in more than her looks. When it comes to dating, the most important thing is that she has the right kind of humor.” – Paul, 23
I truly enjoy this realistic approach.
Women judge men by looks as well, but after that, they assess their personality and the rest. We’re all human after all.
9. The eyes have it
“I focus on her face and eyes. Eyes are important because they show you a lot. When dating, personality, and character go a long way.” – Mikkel, 19
10. Easy to talk to
“I judge (or look) for confidence and openness. I love someone I can talk to about virtually anything. Just being happy, it’s a big turn-on.” – Richard, 33
11. Respect for others
“Depending on the situation we meet in, I judge the way she treats the people surrounding her. I don’t like dismissive girls who think they’re better than everyone else. I also like confidence.” – Mikkel, 23
12. A positive outlook on life
“I’m focusing on her behavior and attitude — happy people are my thing. Besides that, chemistry above all.” – Kristoffer, 27
13. That special something
“I’m trying to sense her vibes because I need to know we can click together.” – Miles, 21
14. Open communication
“I try to have an honest conversation and figure out what we have in common. I also love real people, so as long as she’s being herself, it’s a great start. Good vibes and energy are also a huge plus.” – Kasper, 25
15. Be your own person
“I want a girl I’m going to date to be free and brave to express herself in every way. Just someone open and spontaneous, ready to explore things.” -Mauricio, 30
Lastly, almost 67% of men who answered the survey said that the first thing they notice about a girl is her face!
To make it even better, the number two answer was eyes.
Reading these answers made me truly joyful. It just confirmed what I always knew — men are looking for love as much as women are, regardless of what society might try to convince you.
They’re not looking at our body parts inch by inch and assessing every last bit to pick the prettiest one.
They’re looking for that look, the look of connection.
These show a very positive side of men that not many women seem to notice.
They appreciate a deep sincere connection over shallow beauty.
Finally, a little treat for us romantic women — when asked if they would consider a second date with a woman who made a not-so-good impression… they all said yes!
So, why don’t we all go out there and meet some of these wonderful men? I say we should.
Happy dating everyone!
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Natalie Trznadel is a photographer, writer, and content editor for Unwritten, as well as a contributor for Thought Catalog.
This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.