The Downside Of Moving In With Your Friend — And How It Could Potentially Ruin Things For Good
Don't do it!
From the moment I moved out of my parent’s house to go to college, I realized that living with other people was not as fun as it sounds.
Through all four years of my college experience, I always lived with strangers. These roommates of mine were the sweetest people and we never had any altercations, but their living habits drove me crazy from time to time. I had to quickly learn that not everyone cares about the same things as you, including washing dishes in a timely manner or taking out the trash so the house doesn’t smell. It was beyond me that people could live in filth and be perfectly content. But because I didn’t know them, and I barely saw them except for in passing, I must admit that I was scared to offend them by asking them to be cleaner and more organized.
So, I pretty much just had to deal with their nasty habits until I decided to move. As graduation neared, I finally decided that I needed to find a new place to stay and lucky for me, some friends of mine were also looking to move. Naturally, I ended up signing a lease with one of my closest friends. I had visited her house before when she lived with someone else and since it was always tidy I had no worries about us having any issues. Little did I know just how wrong I would be.
As time went by I realized she was just like my previous roommates, but instead of just accepting this I found that I was more annoyed than ever. I just couldn’t understand how someone I spent time with on a regular basis and who seemed so organized and tidy on the outside could be so unclean on the inside. But cleanliness was just the tip of the iceberg when it came to things that bothered me, hence the reason why I believe it’s not always a good idea to live with people you know.
Here's why.
1. Their bad habits will get the best of you.
Because they are comfortable with you, a roommate you know may not always care to change some of their bad habits. You can mention you would appreciate it if they could wash their dishes or clean up after they make a mess, but they will either not respond at all or say "OK" and then continue with the same behavior. I think it is easy for a roommate to assume that the other person will simply get over the issue and just accept that this is just who they are and how they live, similar to how they chose to become friends or close acquaintances.
2. It can cause rifts in your friendship.
When no changes are being made, rifts are caused in your friendship. You realize that you like this person on a personal level but that living with them can start to overshadow that. It sucks when you have to ask them to clean up after themselves or to constantly remind them to pay their portion of the bills on time. You hate that you start to feel more like a parent than a friend, and they hate that you are always nagging them.
3. They are more likely to use your things without permission.
When you know a person and are comfortable with them, they think they don't have to ask to use your things. This includes food, silverware, hair supplies or anything else they might need that you have readily available. This can cause you to be filled with pure rage as you find yourself searching for your own items and not being able to locate them. Even worse is when you ask if anyone has moved it you get told no. Usually, this same item randomly reappears at a later date. It is a never-ending cycle.
4. They know more about your business.
Even though we don't always admit it, there are certain parts of our lives that we don't like to share, especially with people we know. So when you live with friends it makes it harder to keep your private life private. You feel uncomfortable having a personal phone call or in-person conversations when they are near and likely know the person you are talking to or about. It also makes it harder for you to have people over who you might be having sexual relations with but aren't ready to introduce to anybody. They will see these individuals coming in and out and will likely have plenty of comments to make that you would rather avoid until you are comfortable sharing details.
Overall, living with someone you know can really change the way you view them. You get to see sides of them that you wouldn't otherwise see and that could put a strain on your personal relationship. It is probably for the best that you get to see them in the positive light that you typically would when you'll just get to visit each other and return to your respective places at the end of the night. So before you officially decide to move in with someone you know, make sure that it isn't something you will regret later.
Alexis George is a writer who covers love, relationship advice, astrology and personality topics.