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How do you know it's time to break up?
By Emily Ratay — Written on Nov 29, 2018
There are some relationships you will be in when you just know that it’s time to call it quits. Whether it’s a feeling in your gut or things have been pretty bad for a while now, when you find yourself dreaming of being single or with someone else, you know that you need to break up with the person you’re with.
When things feel really terrible, you and your partner might know at the same time that things aren’t going to last. It would be nice if all relationships could end like this; no arguing, no bad blood, just knowing that things aren’t going to work out and a kiss goodbye.
But “yeah right,” amirite? What’s more likely to happen is one person is ready to break things off for good, while the other person had no idea things were so bad in the first place. I’ve been in relationships like this before where it worries me that we’re not on the same page about our feelings.
I mean, I can tell when my feelings are starting to change for someone, but when they act like everything is peachy, it makes me feel worse. Unfortunately, I am the kind of person to keep someone I know is toxic around too long because I don’t want to hurt their feelings.
Does it do anything for me? Of course, not. But that doesn’t stop me from second guessing myself. But there is definitely a difference between not wanting to break up with someone because you don’t want to hurt his feelings (even if you’re miserable) and knowing that you’re just not ready to break up yet.
Each zodiac sign is attracted to someone specific in a partner, and even when things really suck, that same thing can be the one reason you stick around for as long as you do.
Say, for example, that you fell in love with Taurus because he always made you feel special and let you know that he was always going to be there for you. Now that you’re starting to consider breaking up with him, you still can’t shake the fact that he is truly making an effort to not give up on the relationship.
Sure, other things he does might drive you absolutely crazy (and might be a driving factor for considering a breakup), but his ability to tough out even the lowest lows in your relationship to keep you around is admirable.
Maybe you’re not really sure why you’re sticking around; you just know that you’re not ready to call it quits yet. Your horoscope can shed some light on that confusion, too.
Maybe you’ll find some clarity and realize you don’t want to break up, or maybe you’ll finally understand why you couldn’t do it before and now that you know, you can confidently tell him that it’s over.
Either situation is the right one if it gives you relief and makes you feel better about the situation you were stuck in. And if it still takes you some time to work up the courage to do what you want to do, that’s fine, too; you always have options.
But before you make a decision, here is why you aren’t ready to break up, according to astrology.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
Aries, you’re not ready to break up until you clear the air of a few things first. You’re not going to deny that your relationship has been on the rocks for a while, but you also refuse to let your partner end things without having a talk first.
Don’t get nervous, though. The talk might suck, but you need closure. And if it’s something you can work through together, then all the better! But you won’t break up until you say what you need to say – and hear what your partner has to say, too.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Taurus, you’re not ready to call it quits because you’ve put way too much time and effort into this relationship. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for three months or three years – you’re not a quitter.
There may be tears, long nights talking about your issues, and some fights, but it’s a heck of a lot better than nothing at all. You know that relationships can’t be perfect, but there will certainly be no breaking up while you still have a lot more to give.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
You don't feel a deep connection with just anyone, Gemini, but with this person, you do. So, when the possibility of breaking up comes up, it gives you pause. How can you just throw away a connection like that, right?
You know you're not ready to break up with someone when you feel that soul tie that everyone wishes they had. You're one of those people who is looking for their twin flame, and when you think you've found one, you're not going to be so quick to end things without a fight.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
Breaking up is hard to do for you, Cancer, but it's especially hard when you've finally opened up completely to someone. It takes you quite a while to get comfortable enough around a person to show your tender, vulnerable side to them, but once you do, it's a forever thing.
You're not ready to break up yet if you still feel a deep, emotional connection to your partner. There are times when you know a relationship is over, but when you find yourself still thinking about your partner and caring for them, you know this thing ain't over yet.
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
When you love, Leo, you love HARD. Whether you're in the throes of passion in the bedroom or in a passionate argument with your partner, you do everything big. Love is your middle name, and it's hard for you to give it up so easily.
You like to think that you're pretty smart when it comes to knowing what's best for you, and you're not one to make a decision without putting a lot of thought into it. If you find yourself hesitating, it's probably because you haven't sat down and really asked yourself what you want.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
Virgo, you're not one to stay in a relationship if you're unhappy. You'd much rather break up than stay with someone you're unsure about. But when the thought of breaking up has crossed your mind recently, you've been uneasy with ending it.
You're not ready to break up with someone if you still visualize a future with them. If you think about the next holiday, a year from now, or what your life would be like in another city, and your partner is there, you know that it's too early to break up because you clearly still have feelings.
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
One of your biggest nightmares is being in a relationship that has turned stale and boring, Libra. You always try to keep the romance and excitement alive, but lately, you've felt like things have kind of just turned meh between you and your partner.
The thing that scares you more than a boring relationship, though, is losing someone you really care about, even if things do suck right now. You're not sure if breaking up is the right thing to do because you still feel butterflies whenever you're together, which means something to you.
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
Scorpio, you love deeply, and when you're in a relationship with someone, you're in it completely. You are the zodiac sign that takes dating very seriously, so breaking up with someone without really thinking about it first is a big no-no.
The reason you're not ready to break up with your current partner is because they've seen the most vulnerable parts of you. The mere thought of having to do it all over again, having to find someone to accept you for who you are, is too overwhelming right now.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
Sagittarius, you don't often have a hard time breaking up with someone, but on the rare occasion you do, it's incredibly hard for you to think straight. You know you've found someone worth keeping around when the relationship is about constant growth and learning.
The reason this particular relationship is hard for you to quit is because you feel like you've found everything you could ever want in this person. Independence, humor, a heart connection: they have it all. You worry that this is the best it'll ever get, and you're not sure you can give that up.
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
Capricorn, you're another zodiac sign that doesn't take dating lightly. When you date, you're looking for the person you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with. The person you're currently dating very well could be THAT person, so breaking up isn't an option... yet.
You're not ready to break up yet because your relationship is an investment. When you invest your money, you don't immediately call it quits when the market dips, do you? No! And you don't when it comes to your relationship, either. Good or bad, you're in this thing 100 percent.
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
Being with the right person gives you a rush like no other, Aquarius. You're not a huge "relationship" person, but being with someone who makes you rethink your current stance is certainly a situation you can't just throw away without exploring first.
Right now, things don't seem so great, but you're also not ready to give up hope just yet. The reason you're not ready to break up yet is because you think you've found your best friend in this relationship, And to break up wouldn't just mean losing love, it would mean losing a BFF, too.
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
Pisces, the number one thing you want in a relationship is a partner who understands you like no other and appreciates you for exactly who you are. Of course, as a diehard romantic, you feel like you've found that in almost everyone you date.
You don't like to give up on anyone (just in case they're The One), even though things suck. The reason you're not ready to end things with your partner is because they are able to love the parts of you that you're still learning how to love yourself, and for that, you need them to stick around.
Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes. She plans on writing a non-fiction book in the future.