20 Best Halloween Onesies (For People Who Love Comfortable Costumes)
Let me just slip into something a little more comfortable...
Halloween is approaching fast, which means you probably came here because you're scrambling for a last-minute costume that will still get here on time if you order it now. Good choice, because otherwise you'll end up throwing together a really last-minute costume out of random clothes in your closet and inevitably spending the entire night trying to explain whatever pun or obscure TV character you sort of don't really look like to everyone at the party. We've all been there, and we're here to make sure you don't have to go there again.
But first, a brief lesson in the modern history of women's Halloween costumes.
Back in 2004, a certain teen movie declared the official ruling on sexy Halloween costumes.
The film in question was called Mean Girls (maybe you've heard of it?) and the pronouncement was as follows: "Halloween is the one night of the year when a girl can dress like a total slut, and no other girls can say anything about it."
It was a groundbreaking moment for Halloween, sex-positivity, and lingerie retailers everywhere. Cady Heron has spoken, and in the decade and a half that's followed, latex, lingerie, and animal ears have been the law of the land every October 31.
However, just because you can doesn't mean you have to, and there's more to Halloween than just bunny ears and catsuits.
Yes, super sexy Halloween costumes look fierce as hell. But think about it, pretty much every party (or hey, even every day) is an invitation to dress your sexiest. But how often is it socially acceptable to wear a onesie in public?
It's not a rhetorical question. In the name of *journalism,* we've thought it over carefully and come up with a grand total of 3 scenarios in which you can wear a Halloween onesie without raising any eyebrows:
1. You're a baby. I'm guessing we've all missed the boat on that one.
2. You're the guy in the sandwich suit Miranda falls in love with in that one episode of Sex and the City.
3. It's Halloween, baby.
Yep, barring impossible and/or bizarre circumstances, Halloween is pretty much your only chance to rock a onesie these days, so might as well take advantage of it.
And let's face it, onesies also have a bit of an edge on more traditionally sexy Halloween styles in certain regards. Anything latex and/or midriff baring? Not exactly ideal for filling up on booze and candy (which, if we're all being honest, is what Halloween is really all about, right?) With a soft, comfy, and relentlessly forgiving Halloween onesie, you're free to embrace the true spirit of Halloween and chug wine and gobble up candy to your heart's content.
Whether you're looking for something spooky, silly, or even sexy, there's a Halloween onesie perfect for whatever you have planned this year — with the exception of going to the bathroom, that is. You're on your own there.
1. Happy Cow Onesie
A cute and cozy couple's cow costume, need I say more?
Party City, $35
2. Walrus Onesie
You're almost guaranteed not to run into anyone with same the costume.
3. Sexy Fox
Onesies can be sexy too! Think of this sleek fox onesie as the comfier cousin to your favorite bodysuit (plus a warm and fuzzy hood).
4. Dopey Dolphin Onesie
It's cute, it's harmless, and it looks a little like Left Shark, no?
5. Sexy Fawn Costume
Sleek, sexy, and also super comfy. What more could you want?
6. Spooky Skeleton
A classic spooky costume that is somehow actually pretty sexy even though there's literally no skin involved.
TipsyElves.com, $90
7. Hedgehog Onesie
It's cute and comfier than probably anything else you own. It's basically like showing up to the party in a Snuggie.
8. Lioness Onesie
Be the Lion Queen this year.
9. Narwhal Onesie
You know, like a unicorn, but real.
Ebay, $57
10. Kangaroo Onesie
Don't worry, you can always ditch that baby kangaroo in the pocket to make room for more candy.
Eiigoo.com, $28
11. Jack O'Lantern Onesie
It's simple, it's classic, and everyone will know exactly what you're supposed to be. Forget "points for creativity," everyone knows the perfect Halloween costume is one you don't have to explain to anybody.
PartyCity.com, $35
12. Unicorn Onesie
You know, like a narwhal, but not real.
Target.com, $40
13. Dragon Onesie
Cute and colorful dragon that may or may not breathe fire.
Target.com, $28
14. Banana Onesie
See if you can get through the night without being asked to perform the Peanut Butter Jelly Time song, I dare you.
TipsyElves.com, $90
15. Christmas Tree Onesie
Tis the season...to start annoying all the Scrooges in your life with premature Christmas celebrations! Look, there are people who really love Halloween, and then there are people who really love Halloween because they know once it's over the Christmas countdown can officially begin. To each his own.
JCPenney.com, $47
16. Flying Squirrel Onesie
Again, you're almost guaranteed to be the only one.
Lightinthebox.com, $30
17. The Little Mermaid
Ladies and gentlemen, may I proudly present: the laziest Little Mermaid costume of all time. No wig, no seashells, no need to bare your midriff. Just a zip up onesie with a hood. Frankly, it's genius.
Kohls.com, $36
18. Cookie Monster Onesie
It's cozy, it's super cute, and it's a free pass to shove your face with cookies all night. A win-win if I've ever seen one.
Walmart.com, $20
19. Lobster Onesie
Anyone who remembers The Amanda Show will absolutely lose it, just be prepared to dance.
TipsyElves.com, $99
20. Werewolf Onesie
Be the SheWolf in the closet.
TipsyElves.com, $70
Kayla Kibbe is a writer wrapping up her final semester at Connecticut College where she is an English major with a concentration in creative writing. She covers trending celebrity and entertainment news, love and relationships, and astrology.
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