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They've been in each other's lives for over eight years.
By Roman Chiarello — Written on Jul 31, 2018
After Demi Lovato’s overdose last week, her ex-boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama rushed to be by her side. Though the 25-year-old singer and 38-year-old actor broke up in June 2016 after dating for six years, they have remained friends ever since.
TMZ broke the news in July 2018 that Lovato was rushed to the hospital after an apparent overdose. After her O.D., People reported that Valderrama was "shocked" by what had happened. Demi reportedly remains in the hospital due to complications from the O.D., where it's reported that Valderrama continues to spend time by her side.
Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama have had a very unique relationship over the years. Read on to find out all about their relationship, including how it began, why they broke up, what has happened since, and how Wilmer will be there to support Demi through her recovery.
1. They met when Lovato was 17.
“When I first met Wilmer, he was 29. I met him on January 11, 2010, and it was at a PSA shoot at his house for the 2010 census forms,” Lovato explained in her 2017 documentary Simply Complicated. “To be honest, I only did it because I heard it was at his house and I thought he was really cute. I didn’t really care about the census forms.”
“I was like, ‘I love this man, and I have to have him.’ But I was only 17, and so he was like, ‘Get away from me,’” she continued. Though he wasn’t on board at first, Valderrama’s reluctance to date Lovato was short-lived, as Lovato explains.
“After I had turned 18, we began dating. I think it was love at first sight. And I don’t really believe in that, but I believe that it happened,” Lovato said. “We connected on a level that I’ve never connected with anybody before. He was just my rock, my everything.”
2. Lovato’s mother wasn’t a fan of the relationship at first.
As Lovato’s mother, Dianna De La Garza, explained on “Millennial Hollywood with Dakota T. Jones,” she was initially reluctant to accept her daughter’s relationship with Valderrama. She recalled telling Valderrama, “I like you, but I’m not sure I want you to be together.”
However, she eventually came around after seeing that their relationship was serious. “He had been with her for so long, and I just had a realization one day that I wanted to get to know him better because I thought they were going to get married,” she told Jones. “Once I made that effort, I really came to truly love him as a person, and as a person that I really wanted to be in our family. And he was just so gracious and caring.”
3. Lovato and Valderrama broke up after six years together.
“After almost 6 loving and wonderful years together, we have decided to end our relationship,” Valderrama posted on Instagram in a joint statement from the couple. “This was an incredibly difficult decision for both of us, but we have realized more than anything that we are better as best friends. We will always be supportive of one another,” the statement continued. “Thank you to everyone who has offered us kindness and support over the years.”
In her documentary, Lovato explained the breakup like this, echoing the Instagram post: “[The breakup] had nothing to do with falling out of love. We decided together that were just probably better as friends.”
4. Lovato’s personal struggles influenced the decision to breakup.
Lovato discussed that the breakup was partly influenced by her need to overcome personal struggles.
“The sparks never faded. But there are issues that I haven’t conquered yet that I know I won’t conquer if I’m relying on somebody else to take care of the loneliness,” Lovato said in her documentary. “I just wasn’t ready, and there was so much in my life that I hadn’t explored yet.”
5. When they broke up, Lovato was ready for a fresh start.
In an interview with Glamour months after the breakup, Lovato explained her hopes for a fresh start with someone new.
“I think it’s healthy to be able to start over with someone else. Being sick was always a part of my relationship with him; I always had something wrong with me. I needed to let go of that,” Lovato said. “It was hard to depart from somebody who saw everything, but it may be nice to start fresh with somebody. Because that person I was when I was a lot younger is not who I am today.”
6. Lovato’s family was upset when they broke up.
Lovato’s mother also said on “Millennial Hollywood with Dakota T. Jones” that her daughter’s breakup with Valderrama hit the family hard at first. “I think Demi came to a point where she wanted to make some decisions in her life, and when that happened, it just really broke us all,” she said. “We were really just so upset.”
However, at the end of the day, she knew she had to respect Lovato’s choice. “I have to respect Demi’s choice, as [her] mother. It was her life, and I had to let her decide things for herself.”
7. Seeing Valderrama for the first time after the breakup was difficult for Lovato.
As Lovato explained in her documentary, her first time seeing Valderrama after the breakup was hard on her. The two crossed paths at a party. “I hadn’t seen Wilmer in over 6 months, and when he showed up the gay pride party at Mike’s, my heart ached,” Lovato said. “It’s hard enough dealing with a breakup, but you put it in the public eye, and it feels violating.”
8. Lovato has questioned whether breaking up was the right decision.
“I do have moments when its late at night, and I’m lonely, and I wonder if I made the right decision. Because love is a gamble,” Lovato also said in her documentary. “I don’t know if I’ll lose him for the rest of my life.”
9. They’ve pledged to remain friends.
Despite the emotional reasons for their breakup, Lovato and Valderrama have stayed true to their promise to remain friends. In June 2017, Lovato posted a picture of her and Valderrama on her Instagram story with the caption, “Best of friends no matter what.”
Lovato’s mother, Dianna De La Garza, has confirmed that the couple’s friendship is going strong. “I’m thankful that even after everything, we still see him,” she said during her interview on “Millennial Hollywood with Dakota T. Jones.” In the interview, she added that, despite Valderrama being busy in his career, he still makes time to see Lovato and the family. “We don’t see him that often, but when we do, it’s just like nothing ever changed. He’s just that kind of person.”
10. Is Lovato still in love with Valderrama?
“I’ve never loved anybody like I loved Wilmer. And, like, I still love Wilmer,” Lovato said during her documentary, speaking candidly about her feelings for him. “I think my heart’s always with Wilmer. I think it was with Wilmer, I think that it is with Wilmer, and I think that it will be. ’Cause you don’t share six years with somebody and not give them a piece of your heart.”
“I’m pretty sure that I’m not gonna meet anybody that compares to him, but I’m trying to keep an open heart and an open mind when it comes to that,” she continued.
11. They may end up back together in the future.
When the couple was spotted in February getting lunch together, rumors swirled that a reconciliation between the two may be in the works. A source close to the couple told People at the time that, though they are just friends for now, the couple hasn’t ruled out resuming their relationship in the future. “They’re super, super close and have a crazy love for each other. They’re extremely close friends but there’s always potential they could give a romantic relationship another try,” the source said. “She’s very vocal about the fact that he is the love of her life.”
If they did get together again, Lovato’s mother has already given her seal of approval. “I do like them together,” she told Access Hollywood in March. “I’d be happy if they were together forever.” “They’re amazing friends, and hopefully it’ll be more than that,” she added.
12. Valderrama will be there to support Lovato through her recovery.
According to multiple sources, Valderrama was surprised to learn of Lovato’s apparent overdose, but he has vowed to remain by her side as she recovers. After first visiting Lovato the day after she was hospitalized, Valderrama has been visiting for hours every day, an unnamed source told People.
“He knew she was going through a tough time but he wasn’t prepared for this,” another source told People, revealing that Valderrama did not know the extent of Lovato’s recent struggles. “He saw her through so many ups and downs and was her rock through some of her darkest moments. To see her back in such a sad and vulnerable place is heartbreaking for him.”
“Nearly losing Demi like that tore Wilmer’s heart out, and he’s determined to help her in any way he can,” said another source to HollywoodLife. “Demi has a long road to recovery ahead of her, but she’s done it before, and she’ll do it again, and Wilmer has vowed that he’ll be there with her by her side every step of the way.”
Roman Chiarello is a writer and aspiring journalist who is committed to helping others. He currently attends Pace University and resides in New Jersey.