facebook

7 Reasons Being In A 'Friends With Benefits' Relationship Can Help Attract A Boyfriend

Photo: getty
how to get a boyfriend
Love, Self

If you've been holding back, you might want to rethink your strategy.

Whether you believe we're in a "hook-up culture" or we "crave more commitment," everyone is trying to find their place in the romantic and sexual arena.

I hate comments saying that this generation "is more fluid than ever before," or schlock like that. Human civilization has been around for 10,000 years and believe me, if it can be poked, prodded, cuddled or done, it's already been done. So don't ever let anyone else try and judge your choices or your methods for how to get a boyfriend.

While some people may waste their time waiting in their pristine castle for their prince to come, others are out on the prowl checking under every stone for their soulmate. And they don't let that stop them from having some fun along the way.


RELATED: Casual Hookup May Be Good For You, Says Awesome Science


In fact, getting yourself a little action with a friend with benefits can actually help you get a boyfriend. Here's how:

1. You feel sexier.

When you have a FWB, you have someone constantly saying that you are irresistible, wanted and sexy. It makes you feel good about yourself. You have a reason to wax, pluck and shave.

When your outside feels taken care of, it can also make your inside feel good. When you wear a smokin' hot cocktail dress, do you feel differently than when you wear dirty sweats? Of course you do! Your shoulders are back, you stand straighter, and if someone looks at you, you think, "Damn straight!" and not, "Oh no, did I spill something else on my sweats?"

 

 

2. You're confident, not desperate.

When you know that you have someone whose time you enjoy and is ready help you scratch any itch you have, it's a happy feeling. And knowing that you have one in the back pocket makes it easier to go and find yourself a new one. Maybe even one with staying power (pardon the pun).

There isn't that desperation that we all sometimes feel when we are looking around that house party for someone cute and unattached. Your worst case scenario is that you can still have sex if you want to. That allows you the freedom to take chances, have fun, be relaxed and not overthink things.

3. You have the opportunity to learn your love language.

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a best-selling book that discusses 5 different ways to express and receive your love. They include words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

Some guy may lavish gifts on you, but if acts of service is your love language, it's going to miss the mark. At the same time, you learn how you give love. When you're in a relationship, what do you do or say to make your man know he's loved? It takes time to learn these things, and your FWB is a great way to start.

4. You realize that men want what they can't have.

Nothing is more attractive than forbidden fruit. When I was younger and single, girls would warn other girls about me. But that just made it all the more attractive for them. It wasn't something they had even thought about, but now they want to know why.


RELATED: The Secret To Getting A Man To Want You Is Something You Already Do


If he can't pin you down at the bar for the after party because you've got an after party of your own to attend, it's going to make him want to chase you even more. Heck, even if he knows that you have a FWB, he may want to try even harder to prove he's more of a man or a better choice than your current playmate.

5. Practice makes perfect.

Let's be honest: skill in the bedroom is something that take practice. Some have a natural gift, but you need to figure out what you like, what gets you hot, and what you enjoy doing to him.

The girl who gives a phenomenal show in the bedroom will never get asked where she learned that skill. He will just appreciate it, and if he's a smart man, keep his mouth shut about it and learn to reciprocate just as well.

6. Men love women with a good set of friends.

If you are enjoying FWB action, chances are that you're out looking for them with your girlfriends. This gives you time to bond and have some deliciously devilish fun.

A girl with a good group of girl friends is a turn-on for boyfriend-worthy guys. It means others have vetted you and found you worthy to befriend and spend their time with. Men are always wary of a woman who says, "I don't have any girl friends. They are all b*tches and don't like me."

7. You have the chance to experiment.

There is an entire world of sexual exploration out there. There is a lot to try and learn and find out. Perhaps you enjoy BDSM. A trusting FWB can help you explore your desires. Maybe you've always wanted to have threesome but didn't want to ruin a relationship.

Bingo! You'll have the time to get it out of your system or figure out if it's an integral part of who you are. If you've had the time to learn, explore, and sweat, when you meet that new man, you might blow his mind so badly that he can only have eyes for you.


RELATED: 13 Signs He Likes You More Than A 'Friend With Benefits'


Hunt Ethridge is an award-winning dating and relationship expert with over a decade of experience helping people become the best, most dateable versions of themselves. He has been featured collectively and individually on CNN, ABC, NBC, FOX, Vanity Fair, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, New York Post, Maxim, the Huffington Post, Telemundo, Yahoo! Shine and more.

 

Author
Blogger