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Swoonsville!
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Apr 14, 2020
How many times have you wondered if you'll ever find your soulmate? It's probably more than you're proud to admit.
Here, I'll go first in order to make you feel a little bit better, OK? No shame in this game whatsoever.
If you're me, the answer is roughly eighty million times. Oh wait, I just thought about it again. Make that eighty million and one times.
Sure, I'm a fully-actualized and mature woman of the universe, as well as an out and proud feminist, but that doesn't mean I don't dream about how and where I'll find my soulmate, or that I don't even wonder sometimes if that's something that will ever happen. I fully admit and own that silly romantic streak dwelling deep within me.
Figuring out how to find your soulmate isn't easy for most of us.
In fact, lots of folks will tell you that the only real way to find true love it is to stop looking for it. Talk about seriously unhelpful advice!
I think it's baloney to think that in order to find something, you're supposed to stop looking for it. Can you imagine if we employed that tactic when we lost other stuff?
"Can't find your keys? That's cool. Just stop looking for them!" ... said no one in the history of ever.
Do you ever wonder if men worry as much as women do about whether or not the big discovery of the love of their life will ever happen?
Spoiler alert: Because men are people (contrary to popular opinion in some circles), they absolutely do and have and will continue to do so until time immemorial!
If you've started to lose faith in the very idea that soulmates or true love exist, or if you despair of ever meeting that special someone yourself, take a deep breath and relax.
One redditor stepped up to the plate on all of our behalf, asking the guys on Reddit's Ask Men forum the following question, "I would love some stories on how you guys met your significant others so if you see this post and have a relationship please share."
The true love stories men shared in response prove that soulmates comes to people in a myriad of bizarre and unexpected ways!
Here's how to find your soulmate, based on 21 real life love stories.
1. Introduced by a homeless man.
"Long story short a homeless dude who I had an impromptu street guitar jam session [with] one drunken night took it upon himself to walk over to a pretty lady in a Waffle House and put in a good word for me after I bought us some food.
"Never saw that guy again but I've been dating that girl for about 9 months now."
2. Through his bowling league.
"I wasn't looking for a girlfriend at all. The women on my bowling team (all of whom were married) decided that I was entirely too happy on my own and made it their mission to find me a girlfriend. They started hauling their friends and relatives into league night.
"First one gave me two and three word answers to any effort to start a conversation. The second one was great for conversation but there was no chemistry. The third one I was absolutely smitten with. We got married a year and a half later — actually sixteen years ago this past week."
3. As babies just out of the hospital — really!
"My wife and I met as infants. Our moms were best friends and pregnant at the same time. She was born 18 days after I, and I met her for the first time when she was released from the NICU (she was born two months early). We were best friends until about age eight when her mom moved, putting her in a different school district. We saw each other less and less until we stopped seeing each other.
"Flash forward about 13 years. When we were 22, a mutual friend reintroduced us. We started dating soon after and have been together since. Our second wedding anniversary is coming up in October, and our daughter turns one in a few weeks."
4. After dating her sister (but not in a creepy way).
"Met my SO while dating her sister. Dated her sister for six months then broke up. Dated my SO for two months directly after breakup then eloped to Vegas and got married. Twelve years later still happily married with three kids. My wife's sister is now [out as a] lesbian."
5. At a college social event.
"We're both in college. Met her at a social event thing I was a part of. Instantly thought she was very attractive. Didn't do anything about it because I was in another relationship at the time, but was planning to end that relationship soon.
"Two months later, I've been single for a little while, starting to think about this girl. I see her again when we're with a bunch of people and start talking to her, joking around and whatnot. It's going well, I still want to get to know her with less people around, I ask her if she wants to hang out sometime. We get together in a semi-private area, play some video games, talk a bit, and I'm really getting attracted to her at this point. Ask her if she wants to meet up for lunch on campus tomorrow. She happily agrees, gives me a hug as she leaves, so at this point I know I've got it in the bag.
"We meet up, have a great lunch, make each other laugh a lot, and have an awesome time. I walk her to her next class, and before I depart I ask, 'Hey, do you want to go on a date sometime?' She smiles and says, 'Yes. Finally.' Heh, guess she'd been attracted to me for a while too.
"We've been dating for nine months now. She's awesome."
6. In the middle of a war zone.
"My wife and I were both deployed to Baghdad, Iraq at the same time. I met her for the first time one beautiful summer night drinking Cokes on a rooftop in the Green Zone. It was a nice night, only one or two ;explosions went off."
7. At church.
"We met at church. She was my sister's friend first and we started talking because she was over at our house a lot. I was 15 and she looked a lot older, close to 20 but was only 17.
"I liked her but had a few other options working at school too but nothing serious. My family went on vacation but I stayed home and she called asking for my sister. We ended up talking for over and hour and she asked me to a group thing with some other church kids.
"We've been together ever since, 17 years total, 14 married."
8. In the church choir.
"Went back to church to sing in a big choir. Met the wife there and got married the year I turned 30. Been 16 years so far, two beautiful kids, my career is rocking along and I have nothing to complain about at all."
9. At a bar, but through a friend (of a friend).
"Friend of a friend at a bar. I told her I wanted to take her out for ice cream. She said 'I just got out of a long relationship.' I said 'It's just ice cream ... non-committal ice cream.'
"We've been married 3 years."
10. Through an online dating site.
"My girlfriend and I met on OKCupid. We started off at 95% matches and moved up to 99% as we answered more questions. Our first date was a 5-hour long marathon on loads of topics including religion and politics (and we didn't kill each other!).
"We're going to celebrate 2 years in September."
11. Playing in a band.
"I was playing my first show (drums) with my old band. We start playing a Three Days Grace cover (I know ... the shame) and this hot Irish beauty is singing along. I lose my focus ... and I'm lost.
"The song train wrecks, but we finish the set. I go up to the guitarist (my best friend) and say, 'Dude, I'm so sorry I messed that up, but there was this super hot chick singing along.' He says, 'Really? Where?' Instantly forgiving me. I tell him where she's standing, he looks at her, back at me, leans in close and says, 'Dude, that's my cousin.' [Fear in my eyes].
"He finishes with, 'She'll be at the after party tonight.'"
12. In the dorms at college.
"Same floor freshman year of college! I think that's a pretty common one also."
13. On ... Craigslist?
"At the time I was trying to be more outgoing, so I put an ad out over craigslist seeking people to play chess with (I was studying the game as a hobby).
"My current girlfriend responded to the ad. We met for chess a few times, then after one of our games we started having some real talk and found out that we actually share many values. Pretty surprising.
"I definitely did not expect to meet a young girl that I find attractive through chess."
14. And OkCupid again for the win!
"OKCupid. I was about done with the site, she messaged me randomly due to a little emoticon I put on my profile that she found amusing, and decided, 'What the hell' and met for coffee.
"Few years later, we're married."
15. Working together.
"Met her at work. Knew each other for a year but were dating other people. Then one day we found ourselves in the parking lot at the same time and talked for about an hour.
"She invited me to her house for dinner (more like wanting to cook a good meal for a single guy eating take out), had a four hour talk about what we were looking for, and the rest is history."
16. Through his cat.
"My cat ran up to me in the street and she asked if he was mine. Turns out he had been running into her shared house and making himself at home on their sofa and beds.
"Ended up friends for a bit, been together six years and married for one."
17. At a New Year's Eve bash.
"We met on New Year's Eve 1981. I was the sole bartender at a small bar near the college campus in our town. She was the best friend of my boss, the lady who managed the bar.
"She had just broken up with the guy she was going with, and we were about the only two in the place that weren't attached, so she asked if she could sit behind the end of the bar. We started getting to know each other, and she came over to my place for awhile afterwards.
"Things progressed from there, and we were married that March. We're still together, over 31 years now."
18. Through family.
"She worked with my cousin at a day care. My cousin invited me out with her co-workers one night. We found out we were the same age, had similar views on religion, politics, etc. We just clicked.
"We've been together 17 years, married almost 13."
19. Over a delicious-smelling black bean burger.
"We were both hanging out in a student lounge at school. She was eating a black bean burger, that was extremely aromatic. I turn to her and say 'Wow, your burger smells really good.' That started a conversation that lasted for at least two hours, until I had to go to class.
"Somehow we just happened to share a ton of the same interests and had tons of instant chemistry. We immediately started hanging out pretty much all the time after that, and soon found ourselves in a relationship."
20. After being friend-zoned by her — and by her twin sister.
"Met my girlfriend (A) and her twin sister (B) through a mutual friend at university. We became really good friends the first year we knew each other and I kind of liked A, but she got back with her boyfriend shortly after we met. I took a liking to her twin sister (B) and tried going on a few dates, but she wasn't feeling it so we just stayed good friends, and I started hanging out with A a lot more.
"After a year A was kind of drifting from her bf and getting closer to me, and eventually we just ended up getting together. She broke it off with her bf and got with me.
"We have been together since, almost two years now, and I'm still best-friends level with B also. It sounds confusing, I know, and their mom thought I was trying to pull some funny business at first but we're all cool now."
21. At a karaoke joint.
"I love karaoke. My girlfriend was the karaoke DJ (KJ) at my neighborhood pub. When I heard her sing Evanescence songs, I was hooked.
"Eight months later, I finally asked her out. Yeah — I work quickly."
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Rebecca Jane Stokes is a humor and lifestyle writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.