12 Subtle (But Scary) Signs You're A Victim Of Gaslighting

By Brittany Christopoulos​​

Do you ever get into fights with someone, such as a family member or a significant other, and you legitimately start thinking you’re becoming crazy? It appears you’re being gaslighted.

Gaslighting is defined as: manipulating (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.

Unfortunately, it’s part of mental and emotional abuse, and it’s becoming very common in today’s society. Surprisingly, this isn’t a term that’s being thrown around often even though it should be because this is so common! It’s important to become informed on this type of abuse because it can be tricky to identify.

The abuser achieves this by twisting the victim’s words and lies about things said within the conversation. Slowly you’ll start to question yourself, your self-esteem will drop and your confidence will be diminished as well as the value of your self-worth. The crazy part is that these changes are so subtle and out of nowhere that one day you’ll feel you completely lost yourself.

RELATED: If You're Experiencing Any Of These 10 Things — Yes, It's Emotional Abuse

Signs to look out for during arguments include:

1. You feel something is off but can’t exactly pinpoint what it is or why let alone how
2. Feelings of confusion become a lot more frequent, and it will cause you to overthink
3. You’ll slowly realize the abuser’s actions and words don’t match but they always provide good evidence when you bring it up, or they will deny it effortlessly
4. They call you crazy, tell you that you're over-sensitive and create false stories to alter your self-esteem
5. They take your greatest values and use them against you negatively
6. They blame everyone and everything but themselves

Signs to look out for within yourself include:

1. You second guess and over analyze everything
2. You don’t trust your judgement or recollection of previous events
3. You doubt your decision making skills
4. You apologize for what you did or who you are (followed by a lot of mental breakdowns about the way you feel about yourself)
5. You lose the skill to speak up or defend yourself
6. You feel like nothing you do is good enough to please them

Please note some people may become scared of their abuser!

RELATED: 7 Ways People Who Have Been Emotionally Abused Love Differently

It is normal to feel all of these things when you are being gaslighted. The hardest part is identifying the issues at hand early on to prevent further damage. By constantly asking yourself questions about the warning signs you can save yourself or others from emotional harm. It’s easy to be manipulated by others, especially when they continuously do it to others and gain experience on exactly how to emotionally alter the situation to fit their needs.

It’s natural to feel hopeless and helpless in the situation and are afraid of where you can go to for clarification and safety. If you or someone you know are struggling with an emotionally abusive relationship please visit this website or contact local victims centers for more information — or the police. No one should have to endure mental harm alone.

RELATED: If He Does These 11 Things, You're Not Crazy — He's GASLIGHTING You

This article was originally published at unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.