What You See First Reveals Your Greatest Weakness When It Comes To Love

What Are Your Weaknesses In Love? This Personality Test Figures It Out!
Buzz, Love

Better figure it out.

When you've taken a personality test in the past, beyond wondering what your greatest strengths and weakness are, have you ever stopped to ask yourself what a personality actually is?

If the American Psychological Association is to be believed, "Your personality refers to individual differences in characteristic patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving."

In layman's terms, your personality is the combination of your opinion about things, how those opinions make you feel, and the way you therefore act and react in a variety of situations and relationships based on those opinions and emotions. And especially when some of those actions and reactions lead you to a place where you make certain things tougher for yourself than they otherwise could be — for instance, by leading you sabotage your own love life or relationships — it's important to have a solid understanding of who you really are, what you think and feel, and whether or not your behavior toward yourself and others works in harmony with what you authentically need and want most.

 

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It can be tough to get to the bottom of what we mean when we talk about ourselves. In fact, it can feel impossible for many of us to describe at times. We may recognize it when someone in our life has a personality we enjoy and want to be around, and by the same token we tend to be just as clued in when we meet someone whose personality rubs us the wrong way or worse, can come across as being toxic to even have in our lives.

But as strange as it may seem, it's often relatively easy to get a good sense of other people's personalities, while it can take entire lifetimes for us to get a real handle on our own.

That's because we all carry around an idealized version of who we are in our heads, and with good reason!

After all, you can't fixate on your negative qualities and expect to get very far in life. However, if we are willing to dig just a little deeper, we can sometimes find in the darker corners of ourselves information that helps us become happier, more successful, and more well-rounded in every sphere of our lives.

Take the image below, for example. I want you to quickly look at it and make a not of the first thing you see.

Once you've done this, check out the list below to find out what your weaknesses are and how they might lead you to ruin your own love life (so you won't!).

If you saw...

1. The Bound Man

If you looked at this picture and the first thing you saw was the image of the bound man between the two trees, your personality is in near-constant conflict. Now don't worry. This doesn't necessarily mean that you are literally in conflict with the world around you. If anything, it's far more likely that you regularly battle a war within yourself, and in order to find lasting love with another person, you must be able to find a sense of love from within.

Like RuPaul says, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love someone else?"

You struggle so hard to accept yourself, your strengths, your weaknesses and everything in between, that you are missing out on just loving yourself. The battle for inner peace isn't easily achieved and I'm not saying otherwise, but I am saying that you deserve a break from the inner turmoil every once in a while. Respect yourself for doing all that hard inner work, let yourself off the hook, embrace yourself and love will come.

 

2. The Fence

If you looked at this picture and the first thing you saw was the image of a fence in the middle of the field, your greatest weakness in love is your tendency to close yourself off from the rest of the world.

This doesn't mean you're a lost cause, and it doesn't even mean your heart is more damaged than most people's, but it does mean that unless you're willing to take a risk and open your heart at some point soon, you just might miss out on a chance at real love. It's an easy, normal, and totally natural thing to try and protect yourself when you've been burned badly before, but if you keep a tall wall or a fence around your heart completely, not only can no one else get in, but it's going to be hard as hell for you to get out.

And while putting up barriers is easy to do, taking them down is hard, so don't be afraid to start small. Get to know people slowly, at a pace that feels safe to you, while always making sure that you keep moving forward. If you risk nothing, you gain nothing.

 

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3. The Boat

If you looked at this picture and the first thing you saw was the image of the suspended boat and the nest filled with eggs, your weak spot when it comes to love is that you set standards so high no human on Earth can possibly meet them.

Don't get me wrong. It's important to know what you're looking for in love and to make sure you don't settle, but it is possible to create a list of "must-haves" that is so narrowly defined it prevents you from missing out on making a match with someone who could tick a bunch of other boxes you never even thought to consider.

There's no shame in wanting a family, an amazing career, and a partner who loves all of the same things that you do, but when you get more and more specific in your aspirations for love, you disconnect from the reality of what love is. And while fantasies are nice and all, they don't exactly make for warm bedfellows.

Absolutely hold on to your dreams and do hold the people who come into your life as potential romantic partners to a high standard. However, be mindful that your perfect picture of the future could be keeping you from the love you were destined to find.

 

4. The Skull

If you looked at this picture and the first thing you saw was the image of the skull, your hampering your chances with love by growing overwhelmed with anxiety and worry on every front. You might have an anxiety disorder or you might just be your average Joe worry wort, but either way, your tendency to be overly cautious can keep you from seeing many of the details that make life most beautiful, and that includes the seeing your potential soulmate when they're standing right next to you.

It's good to be a little cautious at times and to make sure you look before you leap, but only when leaping actually means jumping off a precipice. When it comes to something like love you'll waste time and miss opportunities if you spend too much time worrying about all of the different ways it could go wrong.

There are always going to be things that make us anxious, but we shouldn't this stop us from actually living our lives, and that includes where love is concerned. You don't need to hide your fears from your partner either. In fact, you might find in opening up about them that the two of you become even closer.

 

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Rebecca Jane Stokes is a sex, humor and lifestyle writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the sex, love, and dating advice show, Becca After Dark on YourTango's Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:15 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.

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