Photo: Getty
They're sweeter than you think.
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Jan 07, 2022
I have this goofy romantic streak in me that I can't seem to shake. I don't mean the fact that I pine for poems written to me or that I swoon when I receive flowers or chocolate (although both of those facts are true).
When I say that my romantic streak is goofy I'm talking about my urge to make grand, sweeping romantic gestures for my boyfriend.
Let's face it, men are many things, but when it comes to romance and keeping them happy, sometimes it feels like the only sure thing is a bottle of scotch.
While it's true that men and women find different things romantic, that doesn't mean that the only thing men find to be romantic is settling in for a killer night in bed.
Yeah, that good stuff is great, but there are many other romantic things you can do for a man.
You just have to know what they do — and do not — like.
I know that might sound like an impossible task, but thankfully, the Ask Men forum on Reddit is a great resource when it comes to answering women's questions about men that we previously thought would be impossible to solve.
In particular, one Redditor asked men to answer this question: "What are things that women can do that men think are romantic? How should she go about conveying those feelings?"
Here are 11 sweet things to do for your boyfriend or husband, based on ideas men think are super romantic.
1. Pamper him with surprises.
"I want to be taken on a date and have it clearly communicated beforehand that I'm being spoiled and won't be paying for it. And I don't want it to be for any special event like my birthday or whatever, that cheapens it because you're supposed to pamper your man on his birthday. Besides that just bringing home a beer I like unexpectedly would make me feel loved so it's not like you need to go crazy, just show you're thinking of him during your day (through actions, not texts or whatever, that can be smothering)."
2. Let him know you're thinking about him.
"Here's my list, note that I'm pretty cheesy when it comes to romantic stuff:
- Holding hands [in public or otherwise]
- Hugs from behind
- Your SO pulling you in for a passionate hug/kiss
- Late night drives while raining listening to sappy [love] songs
- Sitting on the couch watching a movie
- Fancy dinner dates (where you splurge on fancy restaurants and dress up and what not)
- Coffee dates on a snowy weekend night
- Road trip to somewhere you both always wanted to go
- Baking something together
- Long walks along forested pathways/ hiking trails
- When your SO is laying on the couch/bed and you snuggle up beside them
I re-read your post, and I noticed that none of those technically answer your question, but I'm just gonna leave it there anyway. I suppose I would consider those romantic things you can do with your SO.
As far as conveying your feelings goes something as simple as texting a simple goodnight text at the end of the night and waking up to a 'good morning' text can really make me feel like I exist frequently in someone else's thoughts and thus completely change the way I go about my day.
Just show your SO that you care about them! Not necessarily in a clingy way, but in a way that is unique to the both of you. Does your SO like tea? On international tea day (Dec. 15) whip up a killer tea for him and give it to him on his way to work/class. Your SO into photography? Figure out what his favorite photos are [of you two or otherwise], get them framed [bonus points if you craft the frames yourself] and give it to him for a Christmas/birthday present, etc. etc. Just gotta relate it to your relationship."
3. Touch him.
"For a surprisingly large number of us, touch is our 'love language'. Touch him, cuddle, hug, fondle, kiss, nuzzle, grab them big man-paws and put them on your body. Touch is words in action."
4. Spoil him.
"My wife and I have always kind of competed to see who can spoil the other more. Whether it's dinner at Applebee's or an entire vacation, we're always kind of friendly-arguing over who will pay. We both keep rough score, but nothing actually factual or written down. 'You paid for drinks last week, I need to pay for the car rental for our vacation!' or whatever.
"We always ended up about equal, I guess? Who's keeping score anyway? I hope she was, because I wasn't. Nowadays, it's all both of our money anyway so it's a big joke ... but I still enjoy shouldering her out of the way so I can pay for our hotel room or whatever.
"Just to be clear, we did this practically from day one, way before we were married. We always kept roughly even and we always appreciated and laughed at each others' effort to 'stay even'."
5. Put down your phone and connect with him.
"Talking. Not about anything in particular, often without direction. Just that soulful connection. I live for that."
6. Give him a pet name.
"One of my past girlfriends used to call me her king in her native language. I thought it was very flattering and romantic. This is coming from someone who actually hates pet names but she managed to put so much dignity and respect into it. She knew how to treat me."
7. Make his day just a little bit brighter.
"Bring coffee in the morning unannounced. That is hot. Even announced. If she just says hey I'm going to bring you coffee tomorrow morning ... Idk, might just be me. Pretty much anything where she does something for me to make my day easier and let me know she cares about me."
8. Cuddle him.
"I'm a man and why is it so difficult to understand sometimes I just want a cuddle where I'm the little spoon."
9. Create a private ritual that's unique to the two of you.
"My girlfriend and I have a date night where we walk half a mile to the gas station, buy beer and junk food, walk back to the apartment, and have movie night. It's my favorite thing. If one of us has a bad day, we usually make eye contact and both say 'date night?'"
10. Compliment him.
"Compliments go a long way."
11. Let him take care of you.
"To me personally, romance is when I get to take care of my girlfriend in a romantic way. So me being romantic is it's own reward. One of the most romantic and thoughtful things is a clean and tidy house, home-cooked meal, kids well-behaved or out of the house and dimmed lights. Just time to connect with no distractions. I think that is universal."
More for You:
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a humor and lifestyle writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.