Love, Self

5 Traits Men Find Undeniably Sexy (That Have Nothing To Do With Looks)

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 Traits Men Find Undeniably Sexy That Has Nothing To Do With Looks

To men, we're considered confusing and to women, men don't know what they want. But they do. Society and the media portray men to care more about physical characteristics rather than who a person is.

But that is not what several men whom I interviewed reported. Once they identified traits and characteristics that were not physical, they were able to elaborate why it’s important to them.

There were many different answers but the 5 listed below were the most common as well as the umbrella for other things that fit under it. 

These 5 things are what men find sexy in women that have absolutely nothing to do with their looks:

1. Emotional intelligence

There are so many explanations and definitions for emotional intelligence, so I am going to keep it vague and open for your own interpretation.

Emotional intelligence is having the ability to effectively use your emotions.

It allows people to make rational and logical decisions in all realms of life. One man said that emotional intelligence is sexy because it means women are in touch with their emotions but also know how to keep them in check.

2. Honesty

Men adore honesty. They find it sexy and also refreshing. The men I asked believe it is hard to find an honest woman and for women, it's hard to find an honest man.

Why do some men and women feel that it's hard to find honesty? You may be going after men or women that align with your past relationships, so try and expand your horizon outside of what you are comfortable with or used to.

3. Positivity

What's not attractive about a positive and upbeat person?

One of the men interviewed claims that positive women generate vibes and energy that are positive and the man interviewed reported it was sexy and "captivating".

RELATED: 9 'Positive Thinking' Mantras To Keep You Mentally Strong For LIFE

4. Fairness and equality

A few of the men interviewed saw fairness and equality as very important on both sides of the relationship.

One said, "I want to be able to share my sensitive and vulnerable side with someone who does not grasp on to the gender stereotypes so many have put on men and women."

When asked how many times he has had to hide or mask his emotions and sensitivity, he replied, "I've had to hide it in most of my relationships and I don't want to do that anymore".

Another man believes that being able to treat one another as equal counterparts in all aspects of life is one of the most attractive things about a woman.

He further explained that men and women conform so easily to gender norms and stereotypes and to find a genuine and authentic woman who displays fairness and equality in a relationship is rare but super sexy.

RELATED: 6 Reasons Strong, Sensitive Men Are The BEST Men To Love

5.  Someone who lets them have "me time"

Men reported that although they enjoy their time with their partner, they also want to maintain their independence as well. One man stated that when a woman is able to do her own thing and he is able to do his thing with a mutual respect and trust, it's undeniably attractive.

Another man stated that the women he has come across were insecure and unable to detach from the relationship and do something else such as hang out with friends or be with family. He reported that women who are secure in themselves and their relationships, it's definitely a turn on.

These 5 common themes seen across the table with the men interviewed were not uncommon but usually not reported by men. Usually, men and women tend to focus on physical attractiveness and aren't really asked what is attractive in someone that doesn't have to do with looks.

The men I interviewed took their time in answering and needed time to think about what was most sexy and attractive to them in an emotional context.

Brittney Lindstrom is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Rehabilitation Counselor.

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