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It's still the early stages, and you don't wanna scare him off.
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Last updated on Jul 26, 2023
Ah, dating, it's awesome, but it's also so nerve-wracking.
We all know that first dates can be anxiety-inducing, but they can also be really exciting.
Albeit "exciting" in that whole "wanna barf in your pants" kind of way, but still, super exciting!
You could be meeting the next guy or girl who you want to tickle your pickle.
Sure, they could wind up being a total dud, but if that's the case, worst-case scenario, you get free drinks or dinner. That's nothing to sneeze at!
I've always gotten more nervous about second dates and not so much about the first dates.
By the second date, it can feel like everything is on the line! Why else would people go scrambling for dating tips?
You've established that you like each other just enough to see each other AT LEAST one more time. So what happens if you show up and it's just... the worst?
Second dates are when you discover if the chemistry you felt on date one was real, or if it was all powered by chardonnay and nerves.
If you want to make a second date go well, there are two things you absolutely have to do.
The first? BREATHE. Relax. Chill. Sure, you're nervous and you've got those butterflies, but I promise you that if you go on a date and enjoying yourself is your only expectation, it will be so much easier than if you are going with husband-hunting on the mind. Be yourself, and have fun.
The second thing you need to do to ace a second date?
Read this list of things you absolutely shouldn't say if you want to make it to date number three.
(See what I did there? Boom. Writing.)
Here are 5 things you should never, ever say on a second date:
1. "What are your parents like?"
You think you're making small talk, he hears you planning a wedding.
Some folks are closer to their families than others. Don't assume that just because you talk to your mother every day on the phone, he does, too.
2. "I love babies!"
Yes. Who doesn't? Babies are sensational, and much like puffy little sleepy puppies, they are even better if you aren't the one who has to clean up their poop.
You think you're sharing something you like, he thinks you're popping holes in the condoms when he goes to the bathroom.
3. "How many women have you slept with?"
Yes, it's essential to find out details like this once you start sleeping with someone.
However, if what you're looking for is something long-term, not a hookup buddy, don't ask him questions that will have him thinking you're vetting him.
4. "Where do you see yourself in ten years?"
This is a date, it isn't a job interview.
Sure, you think you're just getting to know each other, but the truth is, questions like that — ones that are forced — sound like they were ripped out of an HR book and will only make him uncomfortable.
5. "Do you like me?"
Of course, this is on your mind, especially if you think you might like him!
It's a totally normal and natural way to feel on a second date.
But it's not a thing you should be asking.
You think it is showing him how open and honest you are about your feelings when it comes to dating, online or otherwise.
To him, it can make you seem desperate and needy.
Sure you're only asking "Do you like me" but what he's hearing is "I love you."
We both know you aren't doing that. We know you are a stellar, kick-butt woman who is tired of the BS, but he doesn't know that!
If he likes you, you guys will go on a third date. Promise.
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Rebecca Jane Stokes is an editor, freelance writer, former Senior Staff Writer for YourTango, and the former Senior Editor of Pop Culture at Newsweek. Her bylines have appeared in Fatherly, Gizmodo, Yahoo Life, Jezebel, Apartment Therapy, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, SheKnows, and many others.