Adopted Dads Are REAL Dads - I Know This Because Mine Definitely Is

Happy Father's Day!

father's day courtesy of the author

I've written about my moms before — my mom and my biological mom

With Father's Day drawing near, I think it's time I talk about my dads too — my dad and my biological dad.

To summarize my incredibly long and dramatic life story, I'm adopted. I wasn't from an orphanage or went through foster care or anything like that. 

Once upon a time, a couple had 5 children and discovered that they were having one more. Realizing that they had no resources to care for one more, they made the ultimate sacrifice and place her in the care of the man's brother and his wife — my dad and mom.


Growing up, I would have to say that my dad was pretty strict. There were moments when I used to be so scared of him. Just like most dads, he has an unpredictable temper, and that was probably what scared me.

I think between my parents, my dad had the most trouble getting close to me. I know I gave him a hard time. And you can probably imagine the hurt he felt since he was the one who was actually blood-related to me. But what I have to admire in my dad was his resilience. He spoiled me but was also strict with me. 

All that hard work to get close to me paid off because I am probably one of the biggest Daddy's girls you've met. Maybe a part of me also feels guilty that I gave him such a hard time when I was younger.


But, with my dad, I can talk on and on about what has my interest at the moment and he would only reply with sarcastic yet playful comments. He doesn't get my antics, but he plays along. One time, I was walking around the house with the tiara from my Sweet 16 that I randomly found and he didn't even bat an eyelash, just asked me why I wasn't overthrown yet. 

And when I was going through my first heartbreak, he did what most dads would do and awkwardly told me that I deserved better (like that Korean singer with the funny name and nice hair). 

Now, you want to hear about my other dad, right? My biological dad, who happens to be my dad's older brother.

I met him two years ago, along with the rest of my biological family. Unlike my mom who was apprehensive about me meeting my biological mom because I might leave her forever, my dad was pretty enthusiastic that I was finally meeting my biological dad.


Growing up, I kept hearing about an Uncle whom I have never met, but my dad would continually speak to on the phone. One time, I was doing karaoke and my dad placed the phone speak at my mouth and said, "It's your Uncle, he wants to hear you."

Little did I know who that uncle really was.

And when I finally met my biological dad in person, it was my dad who pushed me forward, urging me to hug him for the first time. 

And just like my dad before, my biological dad tries to get close to me now, in more subtle ways since we're separated by oceans. He "likes" my posts on Facebook, tells me I'm pretty on my photos, boasts about me to his friends, and now and then messages me to ask how I am. 


For the most part, my relationship with both of my dads are far different. I've known my dad for most of my life whereas I've only known my biological dad for 2 years. I can honestly say that I am much closer to my dad, but I also can't deny the efforts of my biological dad.

There's no denying that they are truly brothers because they both love me to the best of their abilities.

To my dad, who watched me grow up and bought me that stuffed duck when I was throwing a tantrum at the mall, I know we butt heads all the time, but at the end of the day, I wouldn't exchange you for anyone else. You are my dad no matter what.


To my biological dad, who only watched me grow up in photos and phone calls, I know we lost a lot of time, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel immensely grateful to have another dad to watch out for me. You are also my dad, no matter what.

So, what's dad to me? A dad is someone who sacrifices for their child, even if it hurts them. A dad gives and gives, even if they won't get much in return. A dad loves to the best of his abilities. And I feel so incredibly lucky to have two of them.