What Real-Life Unconditional Love Looks Like In The BEST Relationships

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what does unconditional love mean

How happy couples make love work.

Romance is amazing. But what if a relationship begins with a romantic start, and after awhile, it's not?

When you go out together, it's like a hand in glove. The familiarity is reassuring. But, who wants love that feels like comfort if it comes across as convenience?

You wonder if your relationship is right for you, but should a lack of romance mean that your relationship is over? 

Bailing out when times get tough is certainly not what you signed up for when you committed to your partner. And it's far from the unconditional love you've always dreamed of. 

You might not be able to choose who to love, but you got into a relationship because you wanted to, not because you had to.

With movie and songs romanticizing the meaning of love, and the way it feels, knowing what love is meant to look like in a long-term relationship gets confusing fast.

But if unconditional love is your goal, you're going to have to learn to grow your love together — to commit to deepening your love so that it will last. Even if it sometimes feels less passionate, unconditional love can carry you both through it. 

We asked our YT Experts to help us know the different ways people express unconditional love, and what that looks like in even the most complicated relationships.

Here are five ways that unconditional love helps grow and strengthen great relationships:

1. The best relationships give space for what is needed.

“The trick with unconditional love is to focus on the authenticity of a person; seeing their inner beauty and strength without getting caught up in on what they say or do.

If you don’t agree or like what your loved one says or does, you don’t take your ultimate love away and you don’t take it personally.

And if you have to let them go, you can let them go in love.”

Ellen Nyland is a certified Life and Business Coach whose passion is helping you find your inner treasures. Contact Ellen for a 30-minute free coaching session, when you are ready to go treasure hunting.

RELATED: 5 Love Languages' Dr. Gary Chapman Reveals His BEST Love Advice

2. Partners choose who they want to be and when. 

“Unconditional love in the real world involves accepting your partner for the flawed, flesh and blood person they are, not the idealized version you might want them to be.

It means accepting their feelings, perceptions, experiences, and viewpoints at face value without the need for them to defend or justify them because they are different from yours.

Unconditional love can include making requests for changes in their behavior but being able to graciously adjust if the answer is ‘no’.”

Lesli Doares is a therapist, couples coach, and the founder of a practical alternative for couples worldwide looking to improve their marriage without traditional therapy. Call Lesli at 1-919-924-0463 to schedule a free 1-hour consultation. If you want to learn more about how to stop settling for a “not bad” relationship, read 3 Secrets to a Kick-Ass Marriage today.

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3. Unconditional love means understanding that there's a difference between feelings and reality.

Unconditional love is being able to witness the anger, the sadness, the shame or guilt that arises in your partner and yet remain focused on the core of who they really are.

Gaze upon your partner, see through their personality characteristics and focus upon their divine love within.

When we witness the divine in another, we bring that part of us to the forefront, and from this place comes the capacity for unconditional love.”

Mandy Agnew PhD is a therapist, healing guide, spiritual mentor and the founder of Core Wisdom.  Want to learn more about creating unconditional love by connecting to your Core Wisdom, contact Mandy for a ‘Free Discovery Session’.

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4. Partners realize the value of staying present in the moment. Feel the connection, then speak. 

"First connect, then act. What if we pause for a moment, turn to the present moment, feel the heart and connect with each other for real before we speak or take action?

Even the most challenging issues can be taken care of — if we give precedence to truly meet each other first. It is simple, feels natural, but connecting takes practice.

For, when we feel in touch with the pulse of life and each other, love emerges and shows a way, one you may not have seen before.”

For three decades Nicola Amadora, PhD has supported people internationally to live, lead and relate with presence, connection and wholeheartedness to make a difference in the world. She is a psychologist, mindfulness teacher, relationship & leadership educator, speaker and writer. You can follow her on YourTango and connect with her at nicolaamadora.com.

RELATED: You Won't Find True Love Until You Accept These 10 Things

5. Both partners understand that there's room for 'we' and 'I'.

Intimacy is essential to a healthy relationship but clinging not so much. Paradoxically, the joy of being together is enhanced by the necessity of having time apart.

Love in its authenticity understands that each partner is not dependent but interdependent. The need to be constantly connected to one’s partner is more about fear, whether known or unknown than it is about love.

Love transcends space, so partners truly in love understand the power of their love regardless of their physical proximity at any moment.”

Stephen Dynako provides coaching as a Courage Builder and is author of The Self Aware Lover. You can follow his blog on YourTango or his website Dynako.com.

For more advice from incredible people in helping professions, look to our Experts. They are here to help!