The Secret To Being Captivating — Literally

What I’m about to tell you isn’t really that new. Actually, it’s a very common bit of advice that’s often passed around when discussing how to attract a partner. In order to attract someone, you have to be attractive — and the secret to knowing how to be attractive is way easier to understand than you’d think.

So, do you want to learn how to be attractive? Well, the truth is, the secret to being captivating is simply not being un-captivating.

RELATED: 5 Rare Habits Of People Who Always Stand Out In A Crowd

As stupid as that sounds, and as obvious as that sounds, it took me a while to fully understand the meaning of that phrase. When you’re captivating it’s not only about having qualities that make you fun; it also means that you lack qualities that push people away from you. 

What this statement means is that people who want to learn how to be captivating have to work to remove the qualities they have that would push people away from them. Think about the following traits.

Here are 4 secrets to being captivating:

1. Captivating people are good-looking

This means that they take the time to make sure to diet, exercise, and bathe. They put in the effort to have a good wardrobe. This also means that they are NOT unhealthy, morbidly obese, smelly, or disheveled in appearance.

RELATED: A Simple Strategy You Can Use To Tell If Someone Is Selfish

2. Captivating people are also fun to be around

This means they actively listen to people in their circles of friends, they are funny, and know how to behave around others. Though this may come naturally to some, most people actually do have to worry to sharpen their social skills and that takes a lot of time for some.

It also may take self-control and self-discovery, too. But the payoffs are huge. If you have a good personality, this means that you aren’t selfish, entitled, bratty, or a Debbie Downer.

RELATED: 7 Things People Don't Realize You Do Because You Have Social Anxiety 

3. Captivating people have good careers and are going somewhere

A career is a must for many people to find you attractive, and those take serious work. However, the payoff you get isn’t just in paychecks. A good career will mean that you don’t have to worry about unemployment, financial stress, or the potential of being “dead weight.”

RELATED: What Your Favorite Color Reveals About Your True Personality Traits, According To Psychology

4. Captivating people also have active lives

They have friends, hobbies, and cool adventures. Doing this keeps you from being boring and lonely.

See the pattern here? Every single change ends up being a product of hard work, and that hard work removes a lot of traits that aren’t considered to be sexy. So, the secret to being attractive is to put an effort to ensure that you’re not unattractive.

If you want to get a better partner or get more interest from potential lovers, you need to work on being less unattractive. This can be hard since it means that you’re going to have to confront your own flaws with honesty and work on the very things that you might not want to acknowledge in yourself.

This may take months or even years to do. But hey, I never said this secret was easy to use. The choice is yours. You can stay at your current level of appeal, or you can make yourself better. Whatever you choose, you’re going to be the one to deal with the consequences, so choose wisely. 

RELATED: Fascinating Harvard Study Reveals The Secret To Being Likable

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.