The Brutal Truth About Your Loose Vagina

Photo: weheartit
tight vagina

Ladies, put down those Kegel exercises, weights, and vaginal creams to fix yourself. Stop trying to “tighten” your vaginas because it’s utterly pointless to do so.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: there is no such thing as having a loose vagina.

Now, before anyone starts chomping at the bit to express otherwise, I’m going to teach you a few things about the marvelous female body.

Virginity is a concept that’s gotten a lot of people into hot water over the millennia but men have, historically speaking, been much more aggressive at dominating women than vice versa. One of the things that many men felt (and still do feel) is that it’s important to preserve a woman’s vagina for her husband so that he can have all of the wonderful, tight lovin’ for himself.

And so, somewhere along the line, women were taught that having sex with several partners would rob their vaginas of elasticity to the point where sex is little more than a “hotdog down a hallway.”

First of all, ewww. Hot dogs are gross. And second, women don’t lose their vaginal integrity just by a few men lobbing their hot dogs down it. It’s going to take a lot more than that for a body part literally designed to contract and expand.

Realistically, there’s nothing you can do to “tighten” your vagina because it didn’t get loose in the first place. That’s a nasty concept that was created to keep women from sleeping with multiple partners waaaaaay back in the day when ladies were still property. Unfortunately, it’s one concept that has somehow transcended the ages.

In a time when we are literally sending rocket ships to the most distant parts of our galaxy, people still believe that women lose value with every penis they come into contact with. We’re not rubber bands; you can't stretch us out irreparably. We’re people with organic, self-healing tissue. Vaginas can take a lot more damage than dudes even realize, and still snap right back to their usual, glorious selves.

The idea of “being loose” was a great way to scare women into not exploring their sex, since literally everyone is afraid that they’re somehow lacking in the genital department. For men, the biggest fear is a lack of length. For women, it’s a lack of tightness.  

Many men consider virgins to be the epitome of sexual perfection; a woman who’s never been violated or penetrated by someone else seems like some rare jewel. (Gag.) So what better way to make women afraid to sleep with men except to warn her that doing so will make her repulsive to all others and gift her with a constant, unending source of humiliation?

That’s right ladies, we've been LIED to. Now, stop buying into scare tactics and stand proudly with your strong AF vagina.

Want your vaginal muscles or pelvic floor strong? Well, guess what? You’ve already got a body that’s capable of expelling a 10-pound person through a 10cm opening. Your lady parts are already rocking it out down there! You’re not “loose” and you don’t need to worry about tightness. If you want to do Kegels, then do them because you want to strengthen your bladder control muscles, not because some dude thinks your vagina isn’t up to par.

And guys, if you’re having sex with a woman and she doesn’t feel “tight,” it’s not because she’s had too many partners and it’s not because she’s loose; it’s because you’re not actually pleasing her.

Trust me. When a real man is pleasing his lady, she’s already pleasing him right back, no Kegels required.