7 Things Women WISH Men Understood About Oral Sex

When it comes to performing oral sex on a woman, men get hung up on one thing, and one thing alone:

Finding the clitoris. 

And don't get me wrong, that's great! 

Seeing as how for years men ignored the clit, it's beyond stellar that the ol gal is getting some love now. 

But oral sex doesn't begin and end with the clit. 

There are so many things women wish men knew about oral sex that we can never seem to find the time or opportunity to talk about. 

Because let's be real. 

It's never a good idea to criticize someone when their teeth are in such close proximity to your vagina. 

All the same, there's more to oral sex than just finding the clit, and I'm here to share with you 7 other things women wish men knew about oral sex.

1. Sometimes less is more.  

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It's daunting for dudes down there, we get it. 

The penis is pretty straightforward when it comes to oral sex, but the vagina?

She's a veritable mystery. 

I've had a vagina my whole life and it still surprises me from time to time.

Guys need to resist the urge to tackle our vaginas like a guy who has just read every article on the internet about crazy oral sex moves.

Twirling your tongue around while stroking our labia and nosing the clit is all well and good, but oral sex should be about the built up.

Slow, gentle, and steady, that's what guys need to know. 

Even the warm breath from a mouth can make your skin go all goose-bumpy. 

2. We get self-conscious. 

Even the most confident woman in the world can feel a little shy during oral sex.

It's not because we aren't having fun, it's not because you aren't doing a great job.

It's because someone's mouth is on our vagina.

There's pressure to have an orgasm AND pressure about keeping your vagina smelling great and looking pretty.

If a woman clams up, it's not because you aren't doing your best work, oral sex-wise. 

3. It's okay to ask for directions.

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Which sounds better:

Spending eight hours in the car because you wouldn't ask for directions, or spending three hours in the car because you stopped and asked for help.

I think we all know the answer. 

It's okay to ask for help when you're performing oral sex on a woman.

We're happy to help guide you.

Trust me. 

4. The clit is not a button.

Men get way too excited about finding the clit. 

They stumble across it and think that they've found the magical orgasm button.

That's right, but it's only a button in terms of metaphor.

In practice, stabbing the clitoris with your index finger (or tongue) over and over again isn't going to make a woman have an orgasm.

Remember that the clit is erectile tissue just the like penis, and it's riddled with nerve endings. 

Explore it gently. If she wants more, she will tell you! 

5. Please use your hands.

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Oral sex might be about putting your mouth on a vagina, but that doesn't mean you need to be twiddling your thumbs.

Get your hands involved. 

Just like a blowjob is better with a hand at the base of the penis shaft, oral sex on a woman is better with a couple of fingers inside her vagina massaging her G-spot. 

6. Consider humming while you work.

Never underestimate the power of the hum.

When a man hums while performing oral sex on a woman, he's doing two things.

The first?

Sending a message that he's having a blast down there. 

The second?

Humming creates a gentle vibration that could send a woman over the edge into a powerful orgasm. 

7. We won't always have an orgasm.  

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It's true, we might not always have an orgasm during oral sex.

This doesn't mean you've failed.

This doesn't mean we didn't enjoy the oral sex we received. 

It just means we didn't have an orgasm.

which is totally fine. 

Sex isn't always about orgasm. 

Sometimes it's about comfort, sometimes it's about connection, and an orgasm is just the delicious cherry on that sundae.