7 BRUTAL Truths About Falling In Love With A Damaged Woman

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TK Unfiltered Confessions From A Damaged, Single Woman

A cheating husband while I was pregnant? I was bound to become a little bit damaged. But even though I'm no longer bitter or tormented by my past, I still have some behaviors that manifest themselves when I'm feeling especially low.

Whether it's my own insecurities or the battles I faced in previous relationships, it's hard to drop the act you know so well. 

Nobody wants to be considered damaged. And while I truly believe that you can overcome just about any hardship in life, it's really hard to control what someone else does to you.

I know, I know — how you react to something is what matters the most and it says a lot about your character. I've read the motivational posters, OK? But emotional abuse, infidelity, feeling alienated, and no trust or respect in a relationship has a way of making you reconsider every coping mechanism you ever used.

Sometimes you're just numb and you end up with seven unfiltered confessions as a damaged single woman.

1. We will want to look through your phone.


I can't help it. It's a compulsion. I will try really hard not to. In fact, I will talk myself out of it a million times. But I'm insecure, and all I have to go on is a previous relationship where my partner's phone was their lifeline and also included several other women.

I know you're not him. I know you're different. But old habits die hard.

2. We'll overanalyze everything you say.

Everything. If you tell me you're having a bad day, I will assume it's something I did. If you tell me you're angry, I will panic that I caused it somehow. If you tell me you're fine, I will over-analyze every nuance of that word until we're both exhausted.

3. We have a lot of baggage.


Ugh. So much baggage. And I'm really insecure about it, so if you could just pick up a suitcase or two to help me out, I'd really appreciate it.

4. We aplogize for everything.

Even stuff that isn't my fault. I will say "I'm sorry" more times in a day than I can count, and I will recognize that it's annoying and ridiculous, but I still can't stop myself. This is what happens when you were in a relationship where literally everything was your fault

5. We're terrified of being manipulated.


And I refuse to let it happen again. I may say "I'm sorry" even when it's not my fault, but I will realize what I'm doing and make a mental note to not let you manipulate my feelings again.

6. We can be defensive.

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The trouble with being damaged is that now I'm so paranoid that someone's trying to pull one over on me, that I'm super-defensive. I dare you to ask me why I didn't get any work done today or why I'm so exhausted. I will snap and I will be defensive and angry, assuming you're calling me out for being a bad mom, person, and woman all in one.

I know this isn't true. But this is how I feel.

7. We recognize we do all of these things and we work hard to have our own self-worth.


Trust me, I know these weaknesses are mine. I know that I have to own them and overcome them one step at a time. I know that I need my own self-worth so that I don't panic when you get a text at 3 AM or when you tell me I can trust you.

But the best part about being damaged is that there's only one way to go now, and I will bust my ass every day to be a strong, independent woman with her own self-worth. It just might take me a little longer than I'd like.

Everyone talks about dating someone who's "damaged." But here's the thing: no matter how much repair work I've done, I'm still a little damaged on the inside.

All it means is that I'm better in relationships than ever before. I recognize my negative emotions, I know what to expect, and most importantly? I know what I deserve. And I won't take any less, damaged or not.