This Is What The Most Scientifically Beautiful Woman Looks Like

Photo: Getty 
Amber Heard Is The Most Scientifically Beautiful Woman

Yes, there is such a thing as perfection.

Actress Amber Heard has been in the news a lot, lately. 

That's not unusual for a Hollywood star, to be sure. I mean, we live through our celebrities and allow them not one moment's peace.

That said, Amber is making headlines lately for darker goings on, namely, her divorce from Johnny Depp and abuse allegations only now coming to light.

But that's not the only reason Heard's been making waves this week. Far from it. 

She's in the press because she is now officially the most beautiful woman on planet earth, and there's science to back it up. 

London based plastic Surgeon Dr. De Silva claims that Heard's face scores a 91.85% accurate to the Greek Golden Ratio of Beauty Phi.

If that sounds like made up nonsense, you are only partially on to something.

In ancient Greece, the golden ratio was used to determine the true beauty of a face using balance and mathematics. 

De Silva recently put the ratio to the test, mapping the faces of Hollywood starlets and ranking them according to this ancient practice.

Because, you know, we needed to find new and exciting ways of objectifying the women who serve as our role models. 

Kim Kardashian came in second place in this competition. No word yet on what Kanye has to say about that, but I for one look forward to what rhymes he finds for the words ratio and phi.

Kate Moss's forehead also ranked, indicating that Johnny Depp has a type, and it is literal physical perfection. 

These facial mappings are in the news, because De Silva has created a new computer program to rate faces.

"We have devised a brand new computer mapping technique which can calculate how to make subtle improvements to facial shapes," he says. 

"With this ground-breaking technology, we have solved some of the mysteries of what it is that makes someone physically beautiful."

That's right y'all. Somewhere in London there is a machine that will straight up tell you if you are objectively beautiful.

Much like taking an IQ test, this is a dangerous and tantalizing proposition best left so not experienced. 

It's cool that the technology exists, but infinitely less cool that it exists in a plastic surgeon's office where I'm sure women wounded by the number are more than eager to hear how the good doctor will "fix" them. Hollywood isn't real life, you guys.  

Add to that knowledge the fact that the dude is doing a full court press of advertising capitalizing on an abuse victim's highly publicized divorce and you've got a final product that's anything but beautiful.