I'm The Guy Who Really 'Gets' Periods (Because I've Had Them)

I am literally a man who has felt your pain.

By Julian Klein — Written on Mar 31, 2021

Photo: Julian Klein

How often has this happened?

You’re at home, relaxing.

You’re with your guy, and you love him dearly, but you’ve had this conversation a hundred times.

He just doesn’t understand why you don’t want to fool around while you’re on your period.

You’ve told him it hurts, makes you feel uncomfortable, or takes too much energy — but he has no clue.

I am your solution.

I’m Julian, and I’m a transman — and before hormones, I used to get periods. I am literally a man who has felt your pain.

I’ve been bloated, cramping, and leaky. I have wanted to eat everything chocolate in the house and sleep til it all went away.

So when you tell me you have your period and don’t want to do anything that night, I’m completely ok with that ... because I’ve been there.

I’m fortunate enough to not get periods anymore. After getting on testosterone, I went through menopause (hot flashes included) and my periods stopped.

Yay for escaping 35 years of monthly bloodshed!

Yes, I know, you’re jealous.

Every time it comes up in my circle of female friends, they vote to lynch me. My best friend gets the worst cramps of anyone I know, and the fact she hasn’t murdered me yet is a testimony to how much she loves me.

But it’s okay.

Because, as the ultimate caregiver to those who periodically menstruate, I will get you — and therefore I will give you:

1. Your favorite hot drink (must be a hot drink so it will ease your cramps when you rest it on your stomach).

2. Chocolate of the best variety (unless you don’t like chocolate, in which case just substitute your fave food).

3. Cuddles (because I’m a space heater).

4. Complete control of the remote.

Now I need to be honest. Short of electrocuting them, people born without a uterus will NEVER understand what a period is like.

But you have options.