Meet The Woman With The Largest Vagina Ever Recorded

woman with big vagina

The vagina isn't one size fits all. Like the rest of our anatomy, while your vagina shares similarities with the rest of womankind, it's distinctly yours

I've got a big vagina.

Yep. That is a sentence I just wrote down that other people will read. It's true, too.

I feel like the wide-set vagina chick from Mean Girls. You know the one:

An ex of mine used to make fun of the size of my vagina. I took this in silence missing a golden opportunity to mock the size of his dick which was decidedly less than average. That's fine, I still get the gift of never talking to him again so it all worked out. 

I'm proud of the size of my big vagina now.

After all, vaginas are made to expand. That's because (surprise!) we have to poop babies out of them, and babies are not small. (Trust me: I'm a doctor*.)

Vaginas are insanely powerful muscles.

In fact, the largest vagina on record successfully delivered a baby that weighed more than 23 pounds.

I want you to remember that number, and the next time the dude in your life is bellyaching over having a stuffy nose, whip that out for his consideration.

Anna Haining Bates, the owner of said vagina, was born in 1846 in Nova Scotia. At her tallest, Anna was 7'11 1/2 inches.

At her heaviest, she weighed 419 pounds. 

It's hard enough being an average sized woman going about existing in 2016 without feeling like you're taking up too much space. I have literally apologized to someone for sitting on me while riding the subway. 

Can you imagine what it was like for Anna? I cannot even. 

Anna was lucky, she found love and professional success, both thanks to her size.

Her husband Martin was 7'9, and like a petulant little Tom Cruise, did not enjoy it when Anna wore heels. 

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The duo toured the country making money off their prodigious size. 

To my knowledge, Anna never publicly displayed her snatch for appreciation by the masses and there are no recorded measurements of her genitals. When her 23 plus pound baby was born, he did not live more than a day.

The baby's head was measured at 19 inches in circumference. This means that Anna's vagina dilated up to 15 cm. The average vagina taps out at 10 cm. 

Anna was awarded a Guinness World Record medal for the delivery.

Frankly, that sounds damn macabre. I'm sure she had complex feelings about it. 

So the next time you're feeling chagrined about your super plus plus extra large tampon purchase, remember Anna.

I was originally going to say "Remember Anna's vagina", but that seems to cross some sort of line even for me. 

*I am absolutely not.