What Happened When A Woman Included 'Feminist' In Her Dating Profile
You can be a feminist and still deserve respect on dating apps.
Luna Vandoorne / Shutterstock If you think women should have the same rights as men, you're a feminist. End of story.
I don't understand why the word feminist angers people so much. Why is believing that women are intellectual and social equals to men and should be treated as such a bad thing? What's so terrible about wanting men and women to have the same rights and opportunities?
What I understand even less is how, in 2015, when Laura Nowak included the word feminist on her Tinder account, it inspired a wide range of nasty responses — everything from overt misogyny to highly inappropriate sexual come-ons. In other words, by saying that she was a feminist, male Tinder users felt that they had the right to be the biggest a-holes and haters on the planet.
Nowak shared her Tinder responses on her Instagram, Twitter, and even her Tumblr accounts. Now everyone can see how that one word, feminism, can set off the haters.
I knew internet trolls were bad but they've got nothing on these Tinder jerks.
Here's what happened when a woman included 'feminist' in her dating profile:
1. What's the point of the sentence
Either this dude is completely clueless or has a horrible sense of humor. Either way, he needs to work on his opening line.
2. Telling someone to smile isn't flirting, it's rude
This guy is controlling and manipulative, and his pretense of being a nice guy is failing.
3. This is a poor attempt to make contact by giving some unwanted and unasked-for advice
This guy's hostility amps up quickly.
4. Confusion over a feminist using Tinder
Apparently, casual sex and respect for women can't co-exist.
5. Bang it out
You have to wonder what the success rate is for these guys.
6. This guy finds feminists annoying
Everybody is entitled to their opinions, but this isn't the way to go about having a dialogue about it.
7. More men feel compelled to offer stupid suggestions
How is saying that you're a feminist mean you hate all men? Truly scratching my head here.
8. Hey dude, you're on Tinder, too
If you have half a brain, you know that making sexist comments isn't going to get you anywhere.
9. Saying "hi" isn't the most creative opening
It's amazing how quickly these conversations get antagonistic.
10. Yep, misogyny is alive and well
Don't you ever get bored with being a misogynistic jerk?
11. Here's a guy who says he loves the females
He doesn't love women; he loves objectifying them.
12. In no way does being a feminist make you a victim
Seriously, no guy will ever want to go out with a woman who debates and challenges him? Is this the 1950s?
13. This guy promises to treat her like she's supposed to be treated
Hello, the last thing women want is to be treated like a toy.
14. No, he's definitely not a feminist
It's never a good idea to mock gender identity and expression. Never.
15. Want to hook up
If you're going to insult someone, at least use the word correctly.
Feminist shouldn't be such a scary word. It's not insulting to be called one or to call yourself one. It's also not an open invitation for stupidity.
Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and frequent contributor to YourTango. She's had articles featured in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Bustle, Medium, Huffington Post, Business Insider, and Woman's Day, among many others.