By Laurel House — Written on May 09, 2020
Do you feel slightly left out on Mother’s Day because you don’t have a partner to appreciate your hard work as a mother? As a single mom, you might not have someone who truly sees and acknowledges your dedication — emotionally, physically, financially — to your child.
You may not have someone who, at the end of the day, says, “You did a really good job today. You’re a good mom. Our child is lucky to have you.”
And on Mother’s Day, the one day when women with children are praised for their commitment, you’re probably not. At least, you’re not in the way that you wish you were.
You aren’t awoken by breakfast in bed and kisses on both cheeks — one from your spouse and the other from your little love. And it’s okay to be sad, feel a little neglected, and envious of two-parent households. But that’s enough of that.
Right now, I want you to appreciate all that you have, all that you are, all that you give, all that you get, and all that you created.
In this moment, I want you to acknowledge your abundance. In this moment, I want you to acknowledge yourself. Because you can’t get to where you want to go if your head is looking back to the past, and you don’t appreciate what you have right now.
I’m not trying to sound preachy or overly spiritual. I'm trying to encourage you to check yourself. Because if you were my client (or my friend), that’s exactly what I would be doing with you.
It’s time, right now, for you to be the model that you want your child to grow up to emulate. You are strong. You are resilient. You can, you do, and you will move forward.
I’m not talking about erecting your fortifying walls that effectively block your heart so you can plow forward. Instead, I want you to check in with yourself, be aware of your needs, your wants, your areas of strength, and your areas of weakness, and move forward with confident vulnerability and integrity (where your needs/feelings match your words, and then also match your actions).
It’s time to get yourself together and show up as the amazing single mom that you are. Celebrate yourself!
Sure, you want someone to take you out, make you dinner, bring you flowers, buy you a gift, and make you feel loved, special, seen, safe, sexy, and appreciated. Most women, regardless or their relationship status, want that.
But don’t romanticize what it’s like to be linked up.
Remember your ex? Remember how he didn’t do the things that you needed or made you feel loved, special and like the priority? If you want to be treated in a certain way or feel a certain way, it starts with you.
Be the example of your expectation. Treat yourself well. Be the priority (in addition to your little one, of course). And when you start dating someone, they will see how great you treat you. They will see your worth and know that your needs are valid, because you do. Because if you put your needs last (or don’t even acknowledge them at all) and don’t value yourself as a high-worth woman, why would someone else?
So this Mother’s Day, celebrate you the way you want to be celebrated. You get to do, be, feel, and have exactly what you want. How amazing is that?
You won’t be disappointed by having any expectations that aren't met. You get to indulge in the exact way that you want.
Send yourself flowers, buy yourself a little something that will make you feel loved, make yourself a special dinner, or get takeout from your favorite restaurant. Indulge in a bubble bath, then cozy up in your favorite warm clothes and settle in bed for some "me time" — whatever that means to you.
Can’t do all of that with your baby by your side this year? You can make it a date with your beautiful little one. Create a special day for the two of you, because Mother's Day is a special day for the two of you.
Laurel House is an international celebrity dating and relationship coach, a dating coach on E!’s “Famously Single,” and writer who has appeared in Oprah, Vogue, The Washington Post, and 500 other media outlets. Find out more about her new dating course, Love Actually Academy.
