What Divorce Really FEELS Like (From A Woman Who's Been There)

No one walks down the aisle on their wedding day hoping that one day they and their soon-to-be-spouse will divorce. (At least, I hope not. That would be really sad.)

Yet, after years and years of trying to keep our marriage alive, many of us do find ourselves in that position.

Truth is, the fear of what life will look like after divorce keeps many people — men and women — in unhappy, sometimes abusive marriages for far longer that was likely necessary.

While I cannot in anyway predict what anyone else's particular divorce will look like, here is a glimpse into what it was like for me, and for many people I have swapped marriage and divorce tales with over the years.

1You tried to save your marriage, but the day arrives when enough has been quite enough.

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2At first, you cry. A lot.

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3And then it feels AH-mazing when you suddenly remember how to laugh.

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4You worry A LOT about how the kids will take the news.

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5But kids are pretty damn smart. They probably saw it coming before you did.

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6There are so many details to figure out.

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7Between your soon-to-be-ex, your friends opinions and your attorney, it feels impossible to know who to trust anymore.

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8Your friends try their best to have your back.

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9Well, most of the time ...

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10So you just do your best to keep your shit together (or at least to make it seem like you do).

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11You get down sometimes, but you remain optimistic. This is your time to start fresh!

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12One day — like MAGIC — the papers are signed and it’s all over!

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13Ummmm…Now what?

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14You're hit by a kind of tired you never knew existed.

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15Someone interesting comes along, and you gather the strength to go on a date. After all, it's just coffee ...

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16Being single now is nothing like it was back before you got married.

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17Your enthusiasm may get you a wee bit carried away ... but it's all good. You're a grown-ass woman now!

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18Some days your pockets feel so close to empty, you wonder why you even have them.

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19It feels like nothing you do — at work, with your kids, with a new man or woman, or even for yourself — is ever quite enough.

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20Remember -- you've come a long way, baby. You're flawless.

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21Respect that.

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