What Divorce Really FEELS Like (From A Woman Who's Been There)

No one walks down the aisle on their wedding day hoping that one day they and their soon-to-be-spouse will divorce. (At least, I hope not. That would be really sad.)

Yet, after years and years of trying to keep our marriage alive, many of us do find ourselves in that position.

Truth is, the fear of what life will look like after divorce keeps many people — men and women — in unhappy, sometimes abusive marriages for far longer that was likely necessary.

While I cannot in anyway predict what anyone else's particular divorce will look like, here is a glimpse into what it was like for me, and for many people I have swapped marriage and divorce tales with over the years.

You tried to save your marriage, but the day arrives when enough has been quite enough.

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At first, you cry. A lot.

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And then it feels AH-mazing when you suddenly remember how to laugh.

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You worry A LOT about how the kids will take the news.

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But kids are pretty damn smart. They probably saw it coming before you did.

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There are so many details to figure out.

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Between your soon-to-be-ex, your friends opinions and your attorney, it feels impossible to know who to trust anymore.

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Your friends try their best to have your back.

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Well, most of the time ...

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So you just do your best to keep your shit together (or at least to make it seem like you do).

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You get down sometimes, but you remain optimistic. This is your time to start fresh!

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One day — like MAGIC — the papers are signed and it’s all over!

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Ummmm…Now what?

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You're hit by a kind of tired you never knew existed.

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Someone interesting comes along, and you gather the strength to go on a date. After all, it's just coffee ...

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Being single now is nothing like it was back before you got married.

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Your enthusiasm may get you a wee bit carried away ... but it's all good. You're a grown-ass woman now!

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Some days your pockets feel so close to empty, you wonder why you even have them.

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It feels like nothing you do — at work, with your kids, with a new man or woman, or even for yourself — is ever quite enough.

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Remember -- you've come a long way, baby. You're flawless.

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Respect that.

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This article was originally published at The Good Men Project. Reprinted with permission from the author.