Self, Heartbreak

10 Gifts Every Divorced Woman Needs To Buy Herself IMMEDIATELY

Photo: Esty: shopSparklyPony
best funny divorce gifts for women

Engagement rings! Wedding Registries! Push presents! There are so many fun goodies surrounding the fantasy world of marriage

Hopefully those purchases are mere side-note to a beautiful relationship between you and your love that lasts forever. 

For those of us whose marriages end in divorce, it's common to look back and see those gifts now as either a waste of money or a painful reminder of what we thought would be.

Divorce gifts, for yourself or from friends, don't have to be expensive, showy or serious to be deeply meaningful.

I met my now sister-in-law for the first time right when my divorce process was starting. She'd had a friend of hers make me two beautiful bracelets: leather cords with one silver heart on each, one with the names of my two boys and one with the word "listen." 

She has children of her own, and knew all too well how difficult the process leading up to and through a divorce is, and how important it is to keep constant reminders around to refocus on what is most important in life when it all just seems like it will be too much.

Jewelry and other sentimental items like that are incredibly special. But there is no need to break the bank, and it can be just as important to find a way to see life as fun again!

Here is a list of 10 of the best (FUNNY!) divorce gifts for women I've found:

Your Own Tiny Boyfriend

Photo: Esty: shopSparklyPony
Best Divorce Gifts For Women: Tiny Boyfriend

"Forget giving your friend a boring card when you can give her/him a boyfriend for nearly the same price. Your Own Tiny Boyfriend has arrived. Each Boyfriend comes in his own tiny bottle home, equipped with a cork, string, and eye pin -- for your carrying and hanging pleasure.

He is then packed safely with sawdust in a miniature, rough cut crate that is sealed with a packing label. Many candidates were interviewed, but only those with a 5 star rating and sweet temperament were approved as Boyfriends.

Just as in life, the look of your Boyfriend is by random chance."

Flying Fuck RC Helicopter

Photo: Amazon
Best Divorce Gifts For Women: A Flying F*ck Drone

"For the first time in human history, you can actually give someone a Flying Fuck! ... Blatantly crude and oh-so funny, the RC Flying Fuck helicopter is a fantastic way to express yourself ... without having to say a word ... you finally found a way to tell that special someone how you feel. This is YOUR Flying Fuck to give!"

Mermaid Tail Blanket

Photo: This Is Why I'm Broke
Best Divorce Gifts For Women: mermaid tail blanket

"Instantly turn yourself into a magnificent sea creature by curling up in this beautiful mermaid tail blanket. It’s hand knit from soft acrylic and comes in infant, child, and adult sizes so every member of the family can join in on the fun."

World's Tiniest Violin Necklace

Photo: Modcloth
Best Divorce Gifts For Women: world's tiniest violin necklace

"Whether you love the orchestra or are just done being sympathetic, this tiny violin necklace from Monserat De Lucca is right on key! ... An engraved message --the simple, powerful word, "DEFY" -- is etched into the instrument, reminding you to always express yourself and defy conventional style."

The Official BS Button

Photo: Amazon
Best Divorce Gifts For Women: BS button

"This straight-talking BS Button allows you to call BS whenever you see it! Simply press the red buzzer to make it light up, buzz loudly and announce, That was BS! or shout, BS detected, take precautions! over a wailing siren."

Your Divorce Is Final Kit

Photo: UncommonGoods
Best Divorce Gifts For Women: Divorce is final kit

"So it didn't last a lifetime. How many things really do? This is the kit for the person who knows it's time to pick herself up from the floor, dust off, and start anew, because even this is possible. Yes, even this, and we're here to help ...

To help with this transition we've chosen some practical artifacts that will prove indispensable. Assembled with a definite sense of humor, this package contains a collection of cheeky gifts: a pair of scissors for cutting the ex out of photos, a mirror to remind them that they've still 'got it,' a specially printed coffee mug, a back scratcher, and some 'therapeutic' chocolate."

Freshly Signed Divorce Papers Candle

Photo: FlickCandles
Best Divorce Gifts For Women: Scent of freshly signed divorce papers candle

"Nothing captures the rich parchment of a legal document declaring an end to your failed marriage like our candle, Freshly Signed Divorce Papers. It’s not like everyone around you didn’t see this coming, and with the light from this candle now you can see it too.

Part happy, part sad, a little relieved, and unsure of your future financial stability: the complex emotions of divorce are captured in this very complex candle."

Follow Me Flip Flops

Photo: Etsy FlipSideFlipFlops
Best Divorce Gifts For Women: follow me flip-flops

When you're fresh back into dating, it can be tough to figure out how to grab the attention of that hot guy or gal on the beach. With these flips flops, you can simply toss a wink lead the way!

Self-Help Dispenser (or pretty much anything at all from Knock Knock)

Photo: KnockKnock
Best Divorce Gifts For Women: daily affirmations self-help dispenser

Knock Knock's "take on the iconic bakery number dispenser delivers reassurance, and looks spiffy hanging on the wall or sitting on a desk. For a dose of daily whimsy, this oracle is just the ticket."


Photo: Etsy BungalowBoo
Best Divorce Gifts For Women: ryan gosling gifts

Like many other women I've discussed this phenomenon with, I never really gave Ryan a passing thought as particularly my speed — until I happened up my first "Hey Girl" Ryan Gosling meme. Who can resist a smile at the sight of his super positive feminist charm while cutting apples, drinking coffee, or even snuggling in for a nap?