9 Ways To Let Go Of Someone You Never Thought You'd Lose

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single woman

Break-ups are never easy, but they're much harder to move on from when you thought you'd found the one that would last forever. The task might seem impossible, overwhelming and daunting.

And in truth, getting over the person you thought was "the one" is impossible if you're trying to jump from one way of thinking straight to the other. You can't go from "basically engaged" to feeling like a happy, independent single person just by wishing you could. 

Instead, start with these small, simple and totally do-able steps to help you get there in your own time.

1. Let yourself have a good crying session.

There is nothing wrong with having one good cry to get all of the hurt and emotions out of your system. It's actually therapeutic, and can help you to feel better from an emotional and physiological perspective.

Plus, you don't want those feelings bursting out at an awkward time later on, do you?

2. Break some of your old habits and make some new ones.

Change up where you get your coffee, or what restaurant you and your ex used to go to all the time. It will help you to see the relationship as something of the past (like your new "old habit") that had to end in order to make room for the new wonderful things that will come.

3. Deepen your friendships.

Sometimes we let friendships slide while in a relationship. Use this opportunity to spend more time with your friends. Maybe even reconnect with an old friend you haven't seen or spoken to in a while. Being around friends and family who love you forces yourself to see that you are not alone — but don't just make it all about you and your ex. Be there for them, too. 

4. Spend some time helping others.

Whether it's volunteering or simply offering to help a neighbor with their heavy packages, taking some time out of your life to help someone else will make you feel better about yourself and re-focus you on what's important.

5. Get rid of their stuff.

Yes, we're talking about their stuff and the stuff they got you. Keeping it will just serve as a constant reminder of what ended, and will only bring up all the emotions you're trying to move on from. This is a great thing to do with a friend or a group of your closest friends: they can get out their aggression towards the person who hurt you (as we know our best friends hate everyone who hurts you) and it will provide you with any support you might need during the purge.

6. Go on dates.

Even if you don't feel like it. This doesn't mean settle down with the next person who treats you nice. Just remind yourself that there are plenty of other fish, and that you are an amazing person whom people can find attractive and maybe even love ... someday.

7. Experiment.

Change something about yourself: your hair style (or color, if you're feeling bold), your makeup or even just your clothes. Remind yourself that while change might be scary as it's happening, it can lead to amazing results - like someone even better than you might have ever thought possible.

8. Treat yourself to something nice.

Buy yourself that book you wanted, or that purse you've been eyeing. Book yourself that spa treatment or that tropical vacation. It can be a small or a grand a treat (as long as you can afford it) but it's important to remind yourself that you rock, and deserve awesome things.

9. Don't stop believing in love.

Yes, this will probably be the hardest step to take, but it is also the most important. You found love once, and, while it might not have been the kind that lasts forever, it proves that you can find love again as long as you have hope.