7 Reasons Everyone's *Slightly* Afraid Of An Independent Woman

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Sightly Afraid Of An Independent Woman

An independent woman sounds oh-so-sexy, but why then are so many people afraid of an independent woman?

There are many reasons and most of them are never directly stated; instead, they're implied and internalized. As one of those "independent" women, I often feel that, for men, perhaps it's not that I'm not "enough" for them, but that I'm too much.

Other than car repairs and fixing things, I take care of everything. Yes, I'm one of those women who knows when she needs to ask either a man or woman for help, and that's when it involves repairs.

So if you're an independent woman who can't meet the right guy, or has a tough time with friendships or colleagues — or are a man who's in love with an independent woman — read on!

1. Your independence plays into their insecurities.

Your independence makes other women (insecure women) feel bad about themselves. Most likely, they know that it would be a great idea if they were independent, but their insecurities and low self-esteem prevents them from doing so. You're the reminder that they aren't where they want to be. You're a reminder that they should be stepping up to the plate.

2. You're a little bit threatening.

Your independence may threaten how they view the world and how male-female relationships should be.

I had a friend who felt men should do everything for women, and was rarely single. She was the total opposite of me and it bothered her that I challenged how she felt, both with my words and actions.

3. Your make other people a little nervous.

It may not be that someone's afraid of you, but that nervous admiration comes across as fear, when really, it's pure respect. Other people may see you as someone to look up to and emulate. In doing so, this may make them nervous around you.

4. You unintentionally make men feel worthless.

Your amazing independence makes him wonder what he can offer you. Unfortunately, men have been socially trained to focus solely on what they can give to women in terms of quantifiable actions, such as monetary support, repairs and protection from evil things.

And while these things are indeed lovely things for a man to provide, it would be nice if men were socially trained on how to be emotive, decent listeners and supporters in other ways to lessen the pressure on them and help them share their feelings better.

But since that's not apt to happen soon and of course, there are men who are great listeners and are emotionally supportive. In the meantime, men may feel like there's nothing they could possibly offer the woman who can do it all.

5. You shake up men's understanding about gender roles.

Your strength threatens what they believe men need to be and women need to be. It's the same as the woman who's tied to strict traditional gender roles. Your existence shakes up how these men feel about gender and it's not pretty. Good for you!

6. You frighten and confuse insecure men.

The independent woman may stray in a timid man's eyes. Why? Because she has the freedom of choice. In evolutionary terms, she can hunt and gather, and this is frightening to the timid and most likely insecure guy who was taught to hunt with the hopes of keeping his prey and not having it wander.

7. Your independence gives you power over men.

The man who finds the independent woman incredibly sexy may be so excited that it's channeled into nervous energy. He doesn't know where to start or when to stop. You're that powerful to him.


Listen: Sometimes doing it all sucks, and it's scary. And you feel a lot of pressure to keep going. You wish for someone else to pitch in and stop being so damn scared of you. At other times, it's energizing and you're proud of who you've become. You relish the fact that you aren't looking to someone for answers or guidance.

In other words, it's perfectly complicated, just like we women are.