Your Type Of Guy, Based On Your Favorite Fast Food

Photo: Oleg Ivanov on Unsplash
Quiz: What's Your Type Of Guy, Based On Your Favorite Fast Food?
Self

Fast food. It's a guilty pleasure we've all indulged in from time to time. But it's so much more than that. These institutions are an integral part of our culture, so much so that they've developed their own personalities over time.

And because they are so engrained in our culture, examining your particular fast food preferences can reveal some pretty some deeper truths about who you are.

So naturally, your taste in fast food has a lot to say about the type of guy you typically find most attractive.

For example, the last man I dated was the living embodiment of a Sonic Drive-in: He was lazy, nostalgic, had a thing for women wearing roller skates, and would put deep fried pie in everything if given the chance.

RELATED: 8 Types Of Men — And What Your Attraction To Them Says About You

Realizing this got me thinking: Could the fast food nation be a guide map to dating? Does your type of man have fast food parallels? The answer, IMHO, is yes.

Here's the type of guy you find most attractive, based on your favorite fast food chain.

1. Burger King

He acts a little, well ... entitled. He might not actively swan around wearing a crown, but that's only because he doesn't own one.

He's affable and social; people want to hang out with him. He's got a playground in his backyard, and this is somehow not creepy, even though he doesn't have any kids. He makes it work.

He loves a deal, making stuff into fries that shouldn't be fries, and he's got a weird friend who may or may not be a purple monster.

When he tells you that the mayor of his hometown is a sentient cheeseburger, he isn't tripping — he's revealing dark, personal truths about his life.

2. McDonald's

This man is a bit arrogant. He doesn't pressure you to get serious right away because he knows that once you've had a taste, you'll keep coming back for more.

You'll leave his house going, "I usually only do that on road trips," and he'll just smirk knowingly and hand you an apple pie as you part ways.

A tiger in the bedroom, he also gets along well with children, constantly handing out small toys to those who pass his way.

He often smells of day-old fry oil, but he does a lot of community service. You'd admire him more if he didn't talk about it so much.

3. Wendy's

He's probably 65 years old. I'd say he's young at heart, but that's not true.

That said, what he lacks in energy and stamina he makes up for with a secret stash of Werther's hard candy that he keeps ever at the ready.

He likes his presidential candidates fiscally conservative, his cars American, and his burgers square.

You're working out some daddy issues, but there's zero shame in that game.

RELATED: 5 Types Of Guys You Should Never Date (So Run!)

4. Sbarro

Well, he's a little different, but he comforts you like no one else.

He doesn't have a lot of ambition, but he's friendly and always ready to pop some week-old garlic knots in the microwave and pass out flat cokes when you've got company over.

He probably doesn't own a pair of shoes that aren't sandals, but once you've worked your way into his heart he might sneak you a free stromboli every now and then.

5. Subway

This guy is meticulous. He's so into order and routine that people frequently think he's German (how do you like me now, Berlin?).

He's so hard to get to open up that you might feel like there's always a wall of glass separating you from each other.

He thinks he's artistic, but his outlook is limited. In bed he's about as wild as a six-inch of wheat, toasted.

You yearn for something new, but you know he's good for you.

6. Dunkin' Donuts

He probably makes a lot of puns involving putting his old-fashioned stick inside of holes.

He's also a stickler for making the coffee — and he makes is shockingly well.

Sometimes he tries to be adventurous, but he's happiest when he sticks with what he knows best — and you are, too.

7. Chick-fill-A

This type of guy is more of a one-night stand.

You were lured by his charms because of his charming southern drawl and his heavenly buttermilk fried aroma. But then you woke up the next morning with a vicious hangover to find him sweetly asking if you want to join him at the next Westboro Baptist Church funeral protest.

Run. There's no chicken in the world sweet enough to make staying with this man a good idea.

RELATED :If You Want A Healthy Long-Term Relationship, Don't Date Men With These 8 Personality Types

Sign Up for the YourTango Newsletter

Let's make this a regular thing!

Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.