5 Reasons Masturbating In Public Is The BEST IDEA EVER

Photo:  Hot Octopuss

Have you ever wanted to just get out of work for an hour, jerk off, and come back like it's no big deal?


Well that fantasy is one step closer to being a reality. Introducing the GuyFi booth!

The NY Daily News reported that a London-based company called Hot Octopuss has established a masturbation booth in Manhattan (It's at the corner of 28th and Fifth for you locals.) 

What constitutes a "masturbation booth?" This one's just an inoperable phone booth equipped with a screen, a chair and a curtain. It has some adult entertainment streaming for your viewing pleasure. And for the record, it's really just a publicity stunt by the adult sex-toy company.

But the idea got us thinking ... we kind of LIKE this idea of masturbation booths. There are benefits to masturbation that make this idea really good, such as:

1. We'd all be much more chillaxed.


We live in a go-go-go society. High stress, both mental and physical, plague us throughout the day, every day. Work, kids, and money can make you crazy. So a tiny escape, in the middle of the day, to touch yourself and release wonderful and natural chemicals into your body would be a huge relief.  

2. And we'd all feel better, which means getting more done at work and in our free time. (PRODUCTIVITY!!)


Got a cold? Masturbation can actually help you get better. More benefits from those lovely chemicals. A 2008 study at Tabriz Medical University found that ejaculation reduces swollen nasal blood vessels, freeing the airway for normal breathing. Plus, for women, masturbating while you're having your period can help ease crampsWe'd all just feel better and get more done.

3. We'd be fighting the good fight against cancer. 


Research has shown that the risk of prostate cancer is 20 percent lower for many guys who ejaculated at least 21 times per month, compared with those who orgasmed four to seven times a month. And unless you have very willing sex partners, making that quota could be difficult. So give yourself a hand.

4. And protecting the world from icky STDs.

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No condom required! Yes, these booths could seriously help reduce the rate of sexually transmitted diseases by helping sexually frustrated guys and girls take care of business on their own without resorting to risky casual sex. 

5. And we'd never have to resort to desperation sex again.


Imagine the end of hanging around the bar for last call. Visualize a future free of drunk-dialing that dude you're just not that into. Step into a booth, take care of business, and be home in time for The Daily Show

Of course, if the "masturbation booth" is an idea we as society would be OK with moving forward, we'd suggest a few things: privacy, a wide selection of erotic imagery, and antibacterial hand gel. Lots of it.