Love

10 Reasons Why People Who Love The Beach Make The BEST Spouses

Photo: weheartit
Beach-Lovers Make the Best Spouses

Having sand in your bed is a rare form of torture. But having a happy, glowing, sexy creature spreading the sand makes it all worth it.

I like the beach. If I lived in the Caribbean, that "like" would be upgraded to a "love." I don't live in the Caribbean; I live in California where the water is cold and the beach is often windy, so I like it. But my husband lives for it, dreams of it, and straight up loves it. Our marriage is better because of it.

To take a nugget from the surfer vernacular, people who love the beach make rad spouses, and here's why.

1. They always have that god/goddess glow.

The sun at the beach creates a dewier glow of the skin than the regular ole sun. No, I have no science to back that up, but beach tans are the best. When a beach-going spouse returns from the beach, they always look like they've been kissed from the heavens — if they wore sunscreen and didn't turn into a splotchy lobster.

2. They allow you more free time.

If you have children, the spouse that likes the beach will do anything to get to the beach, even if that means watching the kids all day. The beach is a perfect place to watch kids. Slather some sunscreen, a hat, and life jacket on them, give them a bucket, and they're good for a few hours. Then, the non-beach parent gets to take a nap, have free Netflix-reign, and raid the secret stash in the freezer.

3. They argue less.

Because of all that Vitamin D, physical activity and nourishing salt water, the beach spouse receives a surge of endorphins while at the beach. The more they go to the beach, the better trained their body becomes at releasing those endorphins. A spouse who's swimming in endorphins is less likely to serve up the sass when you ask them to take out the trash, pick up their dirty underwear, or financially support you while you take a year off to follow your bliss.

4. They plan epic vacations.

The sun-kissed spouse is more likely to plan a vacation that involves massages, naps, water side cocktails, and room-service cocktails because they just can't help but plan beach vacations. To them, a vacation without sand, salt and surf is like a cake without icing (boring). Let them take you to places where you're likely to be pampered.

5. They haven't lost their childlike wonder.

It's hard to be serious at a place where the main activities are building tiny castles, gliding in waves, being ungracefully knocked over by water, and burying yourself in sand (and everyone is half naked). If they love the beach, they've likely held on to a piece of their childlike wonder. People that know how to loosen up, have some fun, and laugh at themselves (and build sand boobs on a mermaid) are easier to live with.

6. They have lower medical bills.

The aforementioned Vitamin D, physical activity and stress-reducing qualities of the beach all serve to make the beach spouse healthier, and cheaper to insure.

7. They give you incredibly HOT sex.

Endorphins, dewy glowing, toned muscles, a zen presence, and being used to being half naked all make for better sex. The beach-loving spouse isn't just good for a giddy roll in the hay, but will elicit the same giddy-up in you.

8. They have super-smooth skin.

Walking in sand, laying in sand, and being tumbled in a watery salt/sand mixture are excellent at sloughing off dead skin. The beach-goer will return home so smooth you can't help but touch them. A spouse you can't help but touch is a winner.

9. They never wake you up.

Being dunked in endorphins makes you sleepy and helps you sleep sounder. The beach spouse is unlikely to be a fidgety sleeper who kicks you in the shin or unintentionally smacks you in the face as they're rolling over for the forty-seventh time.

10. They age much slower.

The anti-aging minerals in the ocean help counteract the decline of the elasticity of the skin. Beachy-elastic skin equals sexy.