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Now you know.
By Caithlin Pena — Written on Nov 25, 2015
It's almost a shameful subject to bring up, but fake orgasms are more common than we think. A Cosmopolitan sex survey this year found that 67 percent of women admitted to faking orgasms, mostly so the sex stops (and maybe they can finish it themselves later). What is going on?!
Lizette Borreli of Medical Daily got to the bottom of this phenomena and discovered it's not as simple as just wanting the sex to be over.
1. It's an evolutionary instinct to keep you as a mate.
In a 2011 study published in Archive of Behavior, scientists found that out of 450 women in long-term relationships, 54 percent admitted to faking orgasms. These women were also engaged in what scientists call "male-retention" behaviors, such as dressing up for their men or keeping tabs on their behavior.
Scientists theorized that in addition to looking good for their men, women fake orgasms to boost the ego of their male partners. Thus, they ensure that they get the "good genes" of their partners during intercourse.
According to relationship therapist Eboni Harris, "women tend to think if they are the best at taking care of their man (including sexually), he will not need to seek other mates."
Sadly, this leads women to neglect their own needs and pleasure in the bedroom.
2. They're sparing your feelings.
A 2014 study published in Culture, Health & Sexuality found that in a group of 18- to 59-year-old women (12 identifying as straight and the rest either bisexual or lesbian), all admitted that they have faked orgasms to keep their partner from feeling inadequate in bed.
This perpetuates the rampant belief of keeping the man happy in bed, and clinical social worker and therapist Dr. Judi Cineas says that this poses a problem. Sex becomes a chore, rather than something enjoyed by two partners.
3. They're physically unable to have one.
In a 2014 study published in the Journal of Sexual Archives, researchers found that instead of the two reasons mentioned above, women fake orgasms to enhance their own pleasure. Another study from Sexologies discovered that women who have difficulty reaching orgasm are often distracted during sex. But women who concentrate on the sensations during the act achieve it easily.
Relationship expert April Masini said in an interview with Medical Daily, "There are women who aren't comfortable having orgasms, or don't have them easily or at all, and faking it gets them out of what they feel is the pressure of having one naturally."
According to The Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada, only a third of women orgasm during sex, while others might need more than just vaginal penetration, such as additional clitoral stimulation.
If you're a woman who finds herself faking more orgasms than having any, don't be afraid to ask your partner for what works best for you. Contrary to what you might think, men are also not thrilled with the idea that you aren't getting the pleasure you deserve. Only working together will achieve that big O.
