10 Totally Outrageous Things Only Moms Of Boys Will Understand

Photo: weheartit
mom and son

By Jenny Bradley

I won’t pretend I know what it’s like to be a mom to girls. All I know is boys.

My husband and I have two young sons and recently found out that we have a third son on the way. When I tell people that we’re having a third boy, they give me a half-hearted smile, as if I’m surely disappointed with the news of having another boy.

The thing is, I love my boys and I’ve come to embrace my role as a boy mom. I even feel like I know what to expect of life with boys – the wild and craziness, the high noise level, and the bouncing off the wall kind of energy that come from boys, especially when they’re little.

And, as I’ve talked to other moms, I’ve found I’m not alone. It seems there are just certain things every boy mom understands.

10 Things Only Boy Moms Understand:

1. Everything has the potential to be a weapon.

Even if you never buy your son a toy weapon, he will find a way to make one. Spatulas, paint mixing sticks, and rulers make great swords, and sticks in the backyard get turned into guns. That round candle you got last Christmas – it makes the most perfect cannon ball!

As a boy mom, it’s a never-ending battle, mostly because, little boys see the potential for even ordinary household items to become weapons.

2. You have sky-high grocery bills.

I always knew that teenage boys were notorious for eating parents out of house and home; I just didn’t expect it from my little boys. They are bottomless pits and they’re always “starving!”

And, don’t tell me that boys aren’t dramatic, because when I tell them that they have to wait to eat until the next meal or snack time, they fall to the ground, pleading and wailing for me to have mercy on their pitiful, empty tummies, despite the fact that they just ate 20 minutes ago.

I hope that as they get older, the drama will die down, but I expect the food bill will just keeping going up.

3. Wrestling and rough play are part of the deal.

I am ready to get rid of my coffee table in the living room because it just ends up pushed to the side of the room to make room for wrestling boys. When you have boys, wrestling and rough play is just part of the deal. It will either happen when you aren’t looking, or you can play referee and try to keep them from jumping off furniture and onto one another. Your choice.

4. Fort building is non-stop.

Maybe I shouldn’t get rid of my coffee table. It is, after all, the main frame for my boys’ forts in the living room. Pillows and blankets will get pulled from all over the house and draped over the living room furniture and coffee table.

Plus, my boys think when you build a fort you should bring supplies too. I once opened my 4-year-old’s backpack and found a loaf of bread and some mustard that he swiped from the kitchen to sustain himself and his brother while they survived a siege in the living room fort.

5. No shirt, no pants, no problem!

For whatever reason, my boys prefer not to be constrained by wearing clothes or they opt to wear the fewest articles of clothing possible. If I can convince them to put on clothes when we go out in public, they’ll comply for that brief amount of time, but once we’re home and through the door, they shed their clothes once again.

6. Trying to stop potty humor is like trying to hold back the wind.

Yes, pun intended here. My boys think the funniest word in the world is “poop.” They feel super rebellious and simultaneously hilarious when they utter this word.

And, though they may outgrow this stage, I know from having brothers that it doesn’t end when they’re teenagers. If your teenage son ever asks for some hair spray and a lighter, just say “no.”

7. Don’t waste your money on expensive toys.

Boys need dirt and sticks and plenty of room to run. That’s pretty much it. If you have access to a creek, that’s even better. Boys don’t need to be cooped up in the house all day. Even on cold days, we try to find a place where they can run around and get out all their energy. Failure to do so usually means everybody in the house is going a little crazy.

8. Embrace the superhero stage.

I’ve embraced the super hero stage of life that my boys are in right now. I know it won’t last long, and I love the capes and masks, and all that comes with being a superhero.

My four-year-old loved his Spiderman birthday party, proclaiming it “the best day ever.” And, what does he want to do for his 5th birthday? Well, that’s easy. Spiderman again. Good thing I’ve saved the décor.

9. The bathroom will always smell.

If you have boys, and they don’t have a smelly bathroom, please tell me your secrets because no matter how many times I clean my boys’ bathroom, it still smells. Perhaps in the teenage years, the overuse of cologne will cover up the smell, but that’s probably just wishful thinking.

10. Your rough and tumble boy will melt your heart.

No matter how tough your sword-wielding, superhero-playing son acts, he will want and need your love and affection. Those all too short-lived hugs and kisses will melt your heart and make you ever so thankful to be a boy mom.

This article was originally published at Country Outfitter Life. Reprinted with permission from the author.