Your Desk — Yes, Your DESK — Reveals What Kind Of Sex You Have

Your desk holds your computer ... AND the secret to your sex life.

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Wait, what? My desk? Yes, hypothetical reader. Also, it was very kind of you to start my article for me.

Like many things in life, your desk is a reflection of yourself. And since you probably spend (at least) eight hours a day there, it can be a revealing microcosm of your personality. 

Any location you put that much time and energy into will be able to tell you something about yourself. You can't help but rub off a little on the world around you.


Your desk is really no different. How you arrange it and what you put on it is a product of your mindset, and who you are as a person.

Here's what your desk says about you in the bedroom:

1. The Keepsake Queen: Your desk is covered with with pictures and mementos from the people who mean the most in your life. 

This indicates that you're a thoughtful lover who really puts your heart into every encounter. You might get attached too easily, but you're a passionate person with lots to give. You remember every partner you've had, and you're a lot less likely to jump into a one-night stand than others.



2. The Gadget Station: Your desk is brimming with laptops, iPads, and 3 different chargers to phones you don't even have. 

If that's the case, then you're all about the toys and accessories in the bedroom. Handcuffs? Check. Vibrators? Check. Crazy contraption with whips and beads you bought off the internet that's probably illegal in three states? Duh.


Anyone entering your bedroom is going to get to experience even more than they may have expected. After all, what's the point of all those toys if you don't have someone to play with?


3. The Cluttered Hoarder: Your desk is overflowing with a cornucopia of junk.

This can only mean one thing: you're messy. And not just as work, during sex, too. Hot and heavy is the name of the game. If you don't end up a sweaty mess with your hair in a tangled bird's nest, then you're not done yet. You're intense, and there's no time to keep things clean while you're getting dirty.


4. The Plant Whisperer: You keep plants on your desk.

This shows you're a caregiver above all else. Even when you're at work, you feel the desire to be nurturing. This translates to an unselfish attitude in the bedroom.


Above all else, you want your partner to feel good, even if that means sacrificing your own personal pleasure. Because in the end, taking care of them is what gets you off in the first place.


5. The Supply Depot: You always have the spare thumb drive, stapler ... you name it.

You're prepared for any situation. Your first order of business in the bedroom is making sure everything goes according to plan. He doesn't even need to ask if you brought the lube, or the condoms, or if you took your birth controlIt's all laid out so you can get right to the action without fumbling around.



6. The Clean Slate: Your desk is completely empty.

The only purpose for an empty desk is to have sex on it. Those people you see at work who you think are just tidy? They're actually super-freaky.