Men Pay Big Money For This "Humiliatrix" To Degrade Them

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Men Pay Big Money For This "Humiliatrix" To Degrade Them

Now we've seen everything.

Now that Fifty Shades of Grey has made BDSM positively mainstream, people are starting to become more familiar with all the variations of submission and dominance. Since being dominated isn't just about being tied up and whipped, some submissives prefer their domination to be about being verbally humiliated.

And those who desire that verbal abuse want it to be given by a specific kind of a Dominatrix: a Humiliatrix.

In a 2015 interview, humiliatrix Betty Pickle talked about her job, saying, "I specialize in verbally humiliating men who get satisfaction, sexual or otherwise, from being cast in the role of a submissive."

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A Humiliatrix cuts down, insults, makes fun of, and verbally treats her client poorly. She may do so in private, in public, or via webcam. 

In another 2015 interview, Humiliatrix Ceara Lynch talked about when she realized that verbal humiliation was something some clients were in search of. When speaking to one gentleman online, she realized, "The meaner I was to him, the more he wanted to talk to me."

Once she found her niche audience, she focused her attention on (as she says on her NSFW website) creating videos "specifically designed to exacerbate your inexplicable urge to have a pretty girl ruin your life."

In yet another 2015 interview, Lynch said, "I make most of my money from videos. They are POV-style videos which means it's just me and the camera, and I'm looking at the camera so the viewer feels like I'm talking to him." 

Subscribers pay a monthly fee of $39.99 for access to her site, and she also charges for custom videos. And what the Humiliatrix is abusive about varies.

According to Stefan (name changed), an actual submissive leaning towards verbal abuse, "I like it when a Humiliatrix will say things such as, 'You're worthless,' or, 'You're such a loser. You have to come here and pay me to get off.'" 

Stefan says that verbalizing the humiliation is part of the ritual. Clients like their type of verbal humiliation to happen the same way every time. 

The website Sensual Humiliation says, "Generally, a good Humiliatrix doesn't just seize upon the first thing she can find and make fun of the submissive about it. A really fulfilling humiliation session actually requires a good bit of forethought. The more perceptive the Humiliatrix is, the more effective she will be."

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Being a Humiliatrix isn't something that everyone can do. You have to be smart, creative, and have an instinct for what the client needs by way of humiliation.

Sometimes, Humilatrixes will say humiliating things of a sexual nature, like telling the client he has a small penis and shaming them for it, or the Humiliatrix may threaten to make them have sex with another sub.

Some of the verbal humiliation can be exceedingly inappropriate or politically incorrect, but it's about what works for the client.

During a session, a Humiliatrix may have her male client dress in women's clothes, take him out to a public place and verbally abuse him — a combination of verbal and physical humiliation. Whether he's dressed in women's clothing or not, the Humiliatrix may order him to go to the bathroom and make him sit rather than stand. 

Another fetish that falls under the verbal umbrella is something called JOI, or "Jerk Off Instructions," where the man is given detailed instructions on how to masturbate, often being told to stop and start again at the whim of the Humiliatrix.

Someone who's into verbal humiliation may know the reasons behind their fetish (such as poor self-esteem or having too much responsibility in life, and needing verbal humiliation to fully relax), but others may have no idea why they like the things that they do; they just have a craving and feel the need to be verbally cut down.

As Stefan (who has spent thousands of dollars in tributes [payment] to Humiliatrixes) says, "I just feel so relaxed after a good session."  

Last year, a documentary covering Lynch's world as a Humiliatrix was released, titled Use Me. But for Humiliatrix Ceara Lynch, verbal abuse and humiliation is all in a profitable day's work.

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Christine Schoenwald is a writer and performer. She's had articles in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, and Woman's Day. Visit her website or and her Instagram.

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Editor's Note: This article was originally posted in August 2015 and was updated with the latest information.