7 Signs The Person You Love Acts Has A Martyr Complex

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Does it feel like everyone is out to get them? Does it feel like nobody is on their side? Time for them to snap back to reality, because they might be playing the victim in an unhealthy attempt to avoid responsibility and gain attention from others.

We all feel like the odds are stacked against us from time to time — it's true. But if someone constantly finds themselves on the receiving end of life's punishments, it might be because they put themselves there and have a martyr complex.

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They might read that and say, "Whoa, buddy, who are you to judge?" And I'd say keep reading the rest of the article before getting so defensive (again).

Here are 7 signs the person you love has a martyr complex.

1. Bad things always happen to them.

I have a friend. If he drops a glass and it smashes on the floor, he will say, "The glass broke," as opposed to, "I broke the glass." "The cops pulled me over," not, "I was doing 75 in a school zone."

Playing the victim means this person can never take responsibility for his actions when they turn out negatively. Somehow an external force willed this cruel fate upon him, even though it was totally within his control.

2. Every former partner they've had was the bad guy in their relationship.

This is a clear indication of their refusal to look in the mirror. You know what the common thread linking all of their failed relationships? Yup. Look in the mirror. That's true of all of us, and sometimes WE are the one to blame when something goes wrong.

There's a wonderful quote from Justified on FX that goes, "If you run into an assh*le in the morning, you ran into an assh*le. If you run into assh*les all day, you're the assh*le."

3. They think people are always attacking them.

Their persecution complex leads them to always immediately go on the defensive in any situation (because they secretly love it). 

The world isn't out to get them, unless maybe they're Kim Jong-un. In which case, the help they need is beyond the scope of this article.

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4. They turn tiny issues into huge arguments.

The easiest way to be on the defensive is to provoke someone until they actually do attack (argumentatively). 

Do they constantly needle other people over the smallest issues until someone (you?) blows up at them, and then self-righteously get all indignant at your anger?

5. They never feel the need to apologize.

Because nothing is ever their fault (duh). Could that possibly be true? Of course not.

They need to learn to recognize when they're the one at fault and say sorry instead of being passive-aggressive about it.

6. They don't understand why no one will ever come to their defense.

It's simple: This victim attitude wears on people. 

Even when we don't realize the psychology behind what's going on, it's still stressful to be around someone who always has a problem — because having a problem is what they so obviously crave.

7. They dump all their problems on one person.

Probably their significant other. they need someone to know they're the victim, so they make sure to let other people feel the weight every single indiscretion that ever happened to them. 

They might even feel like they're just venting, which is totally normal, but treating someone like an emotional toxic waste dump isn't.

RELATED: Is An Undiagnosed Personality Disorder Ruining Your Relationships?

Bob Alaburday is a freelance writer who graduated from Rutgers University.

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