7 Of The Must Humiliating Parent "Quickie Sex" Stories EVER

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Ridiculously Embarrassing Sex For Parents

Sometimes when you're a parent, sexy time = embarrassing time. There's nothing like trying to get it on, only to realize you forgot to lock the door or that you've had a small, 3-foot-and-under audience the entire time.

But don't worry — most of us have been there, along with these parents who are willing to share their (anonymous, of course) embarrassment with the world so we can all feel better. And remember: sometimes, laughter is the best foreplay. Right?

1. My kids AND their grandparents caught us red-handed.

"We live right down the road from my parents, so it comes in handy whenever we need a babysitter. Well, after a wedding we attended while my parents watched our kids, we decided to stop home real quick for some alone time. We never have the house to ourselves and we were really letting ourselves go wild in the living room. (The three drinks I had didn't hurt either.)

So you can imagine our horror when — right when things were about to come to a close on our living room rug — in walked my parents with all four of my children! I've never seen my dad sprint away so fast in my life!"

2. Our littlest bodyguard was overprotective of the baby in my tummy.

"My 4-year-old is very rough and tumble, so I constantly have to tell her to be careful with the baby in my tummy.

My husband and I thought she was asleep, so we began to enjoy mom and dad time. Next thing I know, in the dark I hear, 'Dad, what are you doing to my mom?'

My husband said, 'Stretching,' and my daughter replies, 'Dad, you'd better be careful; there's a baby in there! Get off my momma now!'' So, did this couple resume "stretching" once their little bodyguard was safely tucked back into bed?

"All we could do was laugh!" she says."

3. My son really wanted family time.

"One evening, my husband and I snuck away to our room while our 3-year-old was watching a movie.

We shut the door, and shortly thereafter the door slowly opens. He says, 'Mommy, what are you doing? Where's daddy?' I quickly pulled the sheets up around us and said, 'Oh, I'm just giving daddy a back rub, Buddy. We will be out in a few minutes.'

He then proceeded to climb up on the bed and offer to help me and to rub my back while I rub daddy's back. The 'massage' definitely didn't come with a happy ending that night!"

4. Sleeping Beauty joined us for a late-night snooze.

"One time, we were *ahem* getting busy and my daughter walked into our room, crawled right in bed next to us and went back to sleep. We both stared at each other, like, uhmmm ..."

5. Having kids caused one unexpected side effect.

"One evening during sex, I developed a huge gas bubble in my stomach," confesses one of mom of two. I managed to hold it until my husband was finished, but when I went looking for my panties at the foot of the bed with my butt in the air, the gas bubble slipped out and I let out a HUGE fart right in my hubby's face. Um, can we blame this one on the kids, please?

6. We had an audience of one. 

"After tucking the kids in bed for the night, we hopped in the shower together. We had no idea our 2-year-old had snuck into the bathroom with us until we heard a little voice asking, 'Watcha doin' Mommy and Daddy?' Can I take a shower too?'"

7. My daughter will probably need therapy. 

"With four kids the house playing hide and seek, we thought they were distracted enough to have spontaneous sex in the bathroom (because there's a lock). Little did we know that the youngest had hid in the shower until the poor girl began to cry thinking that my husband was somehow hurting me.

I quickly made up a lie that I was 'throwing up' and that Daddy sometimes helps people when they throw up (he's a doctor). This was two years ago and to this day she asks me every now and then if I'm going to throw up! Poor girl is going to need serious therapy!"