Self, Sex

Whoa, There! 8 Signs You're, Like, WAY Too Aggressive In The Sack

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 Too Aggressive During Sex

Enthusiasm and aggression are sexy. But having sex is one of those cases where you can definitely have "too much of a good thing."

It's not always optimal to go HAM — trying harder can just mean failing harder. Of course, everyone has different limits, so it's up to you to gage your particular partner. 

But if you notice he's developing a "thousand yard stare" like a combat veteran after you've done the deed, then you MIGHT need to ease up a little.

Here's why sometimes less is more:

You never stop screaming.

Being vocal is one thing. Sounding like the murder victim in the world’s longest slasher movie scene is another ... unless you want US to start using the headache excuse.


You want to start the encounter with the most challenging positions.

Yes, I know the Adonis fighter pilot in the trashy romance novel you just read took her to pleasure land, while she did a handstand on the cockpit during takeoff from an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea.

Can I at least warm up first so I don't pull a hammy?

Difficult positions

You spring a fetish on him without warning.

Sex is supposed to be between consenting parties. How can we consent if we don’t know what we’re getting into?

Most dudes are adventurous enough to give anything a shot. All we ask is a heads up before you try something that might draw blood or other fluids.


You never break eye contact during oral.

Imagine the tables are turned and then look at this GIF. Creepy.

Eye contact

You sneak a finger in the butt unannounced.

Like any out-of-the-ordinary fetishes, anything anal-related should be discussed ahead of time. You'd expect the same courtesy in return.


You’re too aggressive when he’s in a dominant position.

Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing worse than a girl who lays there stiller than a dead fish at absolute zero.

But think of the reverse situation: you’re on top and he’s thrusting too much to let you get a rhythm going. Although you have the best of intentions, you can cause the same problem.

Every dance needs someone to lead.


You don't want us to wear a condom.

It might sound like you're doing an awesome thing. But sorry, we can't just "trust you" on something as important as birth control.

And in STI terms, the sort of person who doesn't want to use a condom is EXACTLY the sort of person you need to use one with. Obviously, committed relationships are the exception when both parties have been tested, and we know for sure that you're on the pill.


He walks away limping and traumatized.

I don't know what you did, but the look on his face says he'll remember it in his nightmares.