By YourTango Experts and Charles J. Orlando and John Gray and Barbara Schiffman and Kelly P. Crossing and Laura Rubinstein — Written on May 26, 2015
Does this sound like you? Over the years, you've jumped into a series of relationships, all of which ended badly. It's not that you're actively searching for the wrong guys, but for some reason that's all you end up attracting. Some days you feel like there are just no good ones left. But on other days, when you keep seeing the common denominator in your bad relationship equation is you, you're left wondering... Is it me?
It's normal to question things when nine times out of ten, everyone you meet turns out to be a total dud. The truth is that we all go through rough patches. And just because you've had your fair share of it, doesn't mean that you don't deserve happiness.
It takes two to tango; chances are the underlying issues in your previous relationships involved the both of you.
The only way you can get yourself back on your feet is by completely eliminating the idea that you are the only one at fault. Regardless of the circumstances, everyone deserves to be happy.
With that in mind, here are three ways authors Charles Orlando, John Gray, Life Coach Barbara Schiffman, Counselor Kelly Crossing, and Hypnotherapist Laura Rubinstein share how you can improve your outlook on love and finally get the happy, safe, and long-lasting relationship that you want.
1. Face your feelings head on.
Laura Rubenstein raises an excellent point when she says, "If you're aware that you feel undeserving, you can change that."
2. Stop living in the past.
Dwelling on things you can't change only forces you into a self-imposed funk. If we actively worked towards improving our future instead of focusing on our past, so many of our issues would disappear. Kelly P. Crossing said it best when she stated, "Who we've been in the past absolutely does not have to dictate who we are in the future."
3. Remember that every relationship is a learning experience.
It doesn't matter how horribly our relationships end. We're constantly shaped by the people we meet. Barbara Schiffman mentions that, "Taking credit for what [you've] learned along the way makes [you] feel as if [you] are deserving. You've earned the right to have what [you] want now."
It makes sense. By acknowledging everything that your past relationships have taught you, it reinforces the idea that your relationship was not a failure even though it failed. You can choose a different ending to your next story. You just have to decide to stop repeating your negative patterns and learn from your past instead of being controlled by it.
That's one lesson you can take on your next date for sure!
