Love, Heartbreak

Boredom And 9 More Reasons People Fall Out Of Love

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falling out of love

Like most good things, love is great, until you’re sick of it. Sure, maybe there are some loves that are built to last, but by and large, love has a tendency to be more of a temporary kind of situation. At the end of the day, falling out of love seems to be almost as common as falling into it. 

I won’t sugarcoat it: falling out of love sucks. Probably the only thing worse than falling out of love is watching someone else fall out of love with you.

Whichever side of it you’re on, it’s almost always guaranteed to be a long, confusing, painful ride. Even if you’re the one who fell out of love first, the biggest question on your mind is probably, “Why?”

RELATED: 15 Scary Signs You're Falling Out Of Love (And How To Stop It)

People describe falling out of love in lots of different ways. We talk about feeling like the spark is gone, or realizing the person we fell in love with just isn’t there anymore. Even if it feels like the person who just broke your heart suddenly woke up one day and decided they didn’t love you anymore, there’s probably more to it than that. 

People fall out of love for all kinds of reasons, including some reasons we’ll probably never understand. But when you’re nursing a broken heart, you want answers, and when you want answers, “I just don’t feel the same” isn’t going to cut it. 

Frankly, getting broken up with is lot like having your flight get canceled: It’s confusing, upsetting, and you feel like you deserve an explanation, but you’re probably not going to get one. 

Essentially, the person who fell out of love with you just canceled your flight and left you stranded. While we can’t book your next flight for you, we can help provide some answers. At the end of the day, no two relationships fall apart in the same way, but here are some of the most common reasons people fall out of love. 

1. They stopped communicating.

Conflict went unresolved, needs went unexpressed and affirmations went unspoken. If good communication is key to building a healthy relationship, the lack of it can surely dissolve one.

2. They took each other for granted.

It's easy to assume that love is unconditional and to subsequently get lazy with each other. When respect and kindness disappear, so can the love.

3. Expectations weren't met.

In the beginning, it's easy to accommodate your partner's needs and wishes. Over time, however, people often default to "just being themselves" and stop bending to the expectations of their partner if those expectations are not shared ones.

4. One of them discovered something new about his/her partner.

Betrayal can radically alter how someone feels about their partner. Discovering that your partner has hidden something from you, cheated on you, or behaved in a way that's inconsistent with who you thought they were can do irreparable damage to the relationship.

RELATED: 10 Uncomfortable Signs You've Fallen Out Of Love With Your Forever Person

5. Overwhelming jealously took over.

Yes, it's reassuring to know that your partner wants you for himself. But when jealousy takes over, there's no room for trust.

6. The relationship wasn't built on a solid foundation.

If the relationship started poorly, moved too fast in the beginning, or was the product of an affair, it's likely not rooted enough to withstand time or overcome any real relationship obstacles.

7. They were incompatible.

As a couple gets to know one another better — and the initial fireworks die down — they may discover that their lifestyles, priorities and values don't align.

8. They were bored.

Or exhaustion. The relationship has either lost its spark or become too much work for one or both people to handle.

9. A major life event changed things.

She's given birth and he no longer sees her as a lover, just as a mother. He got fired and suddenly retreats into depression and refuses her help. Instead of embracing life's adventures together, some couples crack under the pressures of hardships or the unknown.

10. It wasn't love in the first place.

Lust can disguise itself as love. Once the honeymoon is over, however, it can also leave a relationship feeling empty and lacking.

RELATED: The Real Reason You Fell Out Of Love — And How To Fall Back In

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This article was originally published at eHarmony. Reprinted with permission from the author.