Love, Sex

My Man Takes FOREVER To Finish And It's Killing Our Love Life

Photo: weheartit
sex face

Back in my early days of sex-making, I had my fair share of two-pump chumps. As frustrating as a fast-finisher can be, I've learned that a long-time Larry is an even bigger frustration. (Or perhaps I've been having sex with my boyfriend for so long I don't even remember what quick feels like anymore?)

While most dudes would probably applaud my boyfriend for being able to hold out for the long haul, my vagina, mouth, and other various body parts aren't as supportive of his long-lasting ability. I've brought it up to girlfriends, I've even brought it up to my gay friends, and I'm left with one clear answer: "You should be glad he can hold out until you're done! I'd love for my boyfriend/husband/lover to be able to do such a thing."

The grass is always greener and the penis is always more pleasing on the other side, isn't it?


First of all, he's not holding out until I'm satisfied. I could knock an orgasm out of the park in the first five minutes of sex and he'd STILL take another half-hour to finish. That kind of stamina leaves me rubbed raw, desperate to look interested, and oftentimes covered in sweat (his, not mine).

Afternoon quickies in the car or at his office are out of the question, and oftentimes I find myself wanting to have sex, but unable (or unwilling) to put in the time commitment to make it mutually beneficial. I've brought his longevity issues up several times and he swears he's totally fine with me using his hard-on for my own personal gains whenever I'd like, but that just doesn't seem fair. 

How do you look your guy in the eye in the middle of sex and say, "So it's been awhile and I really need to go to sleep. You almost done down there?" I've tried to preheat him, talk dirty, slap, scratch, moan, and do all sorts of crazy things I'd never thought I'd do in an effort to get him off in under twenty minutes, but I've yet to be successful.

I can't exactly call up his past lovers and ask them if they had a similar issue, either. I've used Dr. Google to look into possible causes or solutions with no luck, and his twenty-something pride keeps him from going to a doctor about it.


It's even worse when he drinks. Get a few vodka tonics in him, and I'm in for either a disappointing night or a good hour of humping and pumping before he's able to call himself done. And it kills my sexual confidence when my naked body is all over him and I can't get him over the edge. Heck, he's even gone soft inside me a few times and it makes me feel awful. 

I'm not sure how long this relationship is going to last based on the failure to launch, if we're only a few years in and I'm already finding excuses to get out of sex because of the time commitment it takes for him to orgasm. That's not a very good sign of things to come (or not come, pun intended).

Sexual compatibility is a huge part of any strong relationship and while everything else is humming along smoothly, there's always disappointment in the back of my mind that if we do end up together forever, I may be living the rest of my life without fast, dirty, quickies. I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

It's one thing to know you'll never eat seafood together because one of you is allergic, but it's another thing to consider your sexual future in terms of what you may never have again. Perhaps quickies won't matter in 10 years. Or perhaps quickies will be the reason I stray in 15.