'50 Shades Of Grey' Meets 'Frozen': Nightmare Fuel Or Oscar Bait?

The 50 Shades of Grey Trailer Ana Steele Dakota Johnson

Did you know that the upcoming film adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey has a script? With words and dialogue and stuff?

Crazy, right? I know it was based on a book, but it's basically just porn. (Turns out, porn usually has scripts too! This is just nuts.)

So, a co-screenwriter of the script for 50 Shades, Kelly Marcel, was on An Evening At the Writer's Room and they let her talk like she was a real writer. That was nice of them.

According to the screenwriter, Jamie Dornan is going to win an Oscar for his performance in the movie as Christian Grey, which is the exact reason why people who write porn shouldn't be allowed to talk.

Look, we get it. You've got bills to pay, you have to work. But you wrote the screenplay for a big budget softcore (probably) porn. The script isn't important. It's just there to make sure that the "actors" all know where to stand and the camera knows what to be pointed at. When you write a story and the plot breaks down to essentially "two people have sex, and then they have sex again, and the guy was super controlling and creepy, then they have sex some more" congratulations, you just wrote porn. You're lucky you're allowed to be called a writer, instead of a "word putter on paper."

Also, if you'd like to creep yourself out, somebody made a mash up of Frozen and the 50 Shades of Grey trailer. It's creepy, especially because the animated characters seem to have more life to them than the actual real life actors in the Fifty Shades Of Grey clips did.