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Why wouldn't a man want an empowered women?
By Amanda Chatel — Last updated on Nov 12, 2023
Although we may be stoked by how far we've come, as a gender, in regards to economics, education, politics, and social achievements, some men aren't as impressed as we are. With women's issues turning up left and right, the online dating site, EliteSingles, decided to do some investigating among their users to see just how men feel about successful women.
Sadly, the dudes kinda let us down. Guys, it's 2023! Come on! Get with the program!
It seems that, despite what year it is, a lot of men would prefer if we were still living in the Mad Men era, because, "HOLY MOLY! A woman with ambition who makes more than me? NO. THANK. YOU." You can eye-roll all you want, but it's a true concern for some.
Power women: Here are 4 must-know dating secrets of successful ladies:
1. It can be rough out there.
Of those women EliteSingles surveyed, 38 percent cited their success as something that stood in the way of finding love. Yes, it's the woman who not only has her life figured out, but can financially provide for herself that puts the fear of god in men.
Although some men might be willing to try to date a woman with more success than them, it doesn't always go so well. As EliteSingles’ member, Clara from New Zealand, explained, "I've tried dating less successful partners and paid for everything … but in the end both of us became resentful." Well, it isn't fun to always be the buyer, and probably even less fun to always be the leach receiver in the situation — or is that supposed to be the other way around?
2. An ambitious partner isn't a priority.
To further attest to the fact that the world is changing and the days of Suzy Homemaker are long gone, when it came to what women look for in men, ambition and success weren't exactly priorities. Only 4 percent of those surveyed cited that a partner with zero career ambition would have them running for the hills. That's definitely great news for the dudes of the world who still have no clue what they want to do with their lives — 96 percent of women are willing to give you the time of day!
3. They won't settle.
Not only are successful women having a bit of trouble in the relationship category, because guys are chockful of hubris, and who are we, as women, to try and take that away from them, but these ambitious ladies aren't willing to settle either. Being "too picky," according to those women surveyed, is completely fine in their opinion, with 16 percent feeling it's totally justified to be that way.
4. Chivalry matters.
But with all this feminism, does chivalry have any place anymore? Here's a resounding YES. Just because women are more than capable of taking care of themselves in more ways than one, it doesn't mean we don't love some chivalry from time to time. According to EliteSingles, "58 percent of respondents said that having a man open a door for them or carry their luggage is 'extremely attractive'." And it is! Opening the door for someone, a man or woman, or offering to help with a bag, is just basic manners.
Sure, we can get the door for ourselves, but if you get it for us now and then, that's awesome, too — just like when we get the door for you and help you with YOUR luggage. See? It's equality, and equality is awesome.
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Amanda Chatel is an essayist and intimate health writer for Yourtango, Shape Magazine, Hello Giggles, Glamour, and Harper's Bazaar.