It's Science: Americans Watched The Most Porn In 2013

With the end of every year come the oh-so popular lists that recap the past 12 months. From top films to top albums to top celebrity nip-slips, there's a list for everything. One such list breaks down porn habits from country to country, because honestly, which would you rather be in the know about: the best film of 2013 or the horniest nation? The latter, of course.

Thanks to extensive research by Pornhub we now know that when it comes to how long porn is being watched in one sitting, the United States wins with flying colors. According to Pornhub's "2013 Porn In Review" the average amount of time that Americans spend enjoying online porn is 10 minutes, 39 seconds every time they log on to get an eye-full of sexin' Not far behind the us are the UK, Germany and France, respectively.

If the United States takes the number one spot in the world that obviously means we're home to the individual state that's all about consuming porn the most at one time. Any guesses as to the winner? Well, before you get your brain in a tizzy, I'll tell you: Mississippi.

At an average 11 minutes, 47 seconds of porn-watching sessions in 2013, Mississippi is number one in the planet! The duration is even up one minute, three seconds from last year! Closing in on the top five states that enjoy this particular past time are Hawaii, Arkansas and fellow Deep South states Alabama and Louisiana. This might be a perfect place to state some archaic stereotype about the South, but I'll refrain. As for the states that indulge in the smallest duration of porn-watching, that would be New England with five of the six states (sans Maine), taking the those five spots.

The research also found that January seems to be the favored month of the year for people to get their online porn on, with Monday being the top day of the week. August is the month that sees the least amount of viewers (because it's so hot?), and Sunday is the day in which people tend to give the computer a break (because of church?). It's nice to see that it isn't every day — even the machine needs rest, you guys.

And, because I know you're beside yourself with wonder, the top three searched terms in the US are: teen, creampie and MILF. Yes, in the porn world, "creampie" is one word.

Other interesting findings from the 2013 research: laptops are the number one way to watch porn, New Year’s Eve is the least popular night for porn and masturbation, the Super Bowl tends to put a damper on porn-watching, and "Farrah Abraham Teen Mom Sex Tape" was the most watched video of 2013 with 12,366,884 views. Not too shabby!

Now, despite your fears, you have some extremely exciting bits of knowledge to inject into conversations this New Year's Eve. You'll be the most popular bell of the ball, because who doesn't love to be told trivial information about online porn in between champagne and amuse-bouche?