Relationship Advice: Is Snoring Ruining Your Relationship?

Is it fair to get upset at your partner over loud sleeping habits?

By Sam H. Escobar — Written on Apr 23, 2013

Our significant others often have at least one or two subconscious habits that can drive us crazy. From tapping on tables with eating utensils to clicking their jaws whenever they chew, people are prone to have little ticks that may frustrate the ones who love them most. But has your partner ever had a tendency that drove you crazy enough to break up?

According to a new study by pharmaceutical brand Nytol for National Stop Snoring Week, 41% of snorers experience issues with their partners nightly. And the evenings aren't the only time relationships can suffer — 27% regularly feel grumpy in the morning while 21% are frequently exhausted, both of which can contribute to an unpleasant demeanor and a potentially bad day as a pair. Add up enough of those bad days and your relationship can truly suffer.

But is it fair to get upset at your significant other when he or she can't help their nighttime loudness?

Here's where things get tricky: even though one person may feel frustrated with the other for constantly shaking the walls with their snores, it typically isn't something they can help easily.

I have consistently dated snorers, often very heavy ones, and have never known exactly what to do about it. Do I nudge him? Or would that be rude? Should I tell him or will that just cause him to be embarrassed? Even when I am feeling awful because can't sleep from the noise, I still feel guilty saying anything, so I typically avoid doing so.

And honestly? I am glad, because it's something they could rarely help (many had breathing or bone structure issues that led to heavy snoring) and I would've hated to make them feel anxious as a result. I just had to ensure I either fell asleep first or put a bit of music on to drown out the sounds.

I, for one, talk in my sleep. Really loudly. I moan, cry and sometimes even yell, but typically I just mumble unintelligible sentences that are inapplicable to absolutely anything that person and I could actually be speaking about. In the morning, we would sometimes discuss it and laugh about the whole thing, and most of my partners have been really understanding about it so I haven't felt embarrassed. One, however, used to criticize and mock me for my habit of sleeptalking which only made me resent him since it wasn't something I could do much about short of taping my own mouth shut.

Sure, when you're frustrated with your partner's habits, it’s easy to get upset at him or her. Just remember: if your significant other can't help the snoring, being mean or resentful about it won't do much to solve anything. Instead, try working on techniques together than could either solve the snoring itself or simply mask the sounds.

Is snoring an issue in your relationship? How do you and your partner deal with it? Share your tips in the comments below.