How To Let Go Of Self-Doubt & Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

It's time to make a change.

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Do you lack self-confidence? Do you always compare yourself to others and carry around a lot of self-doubt? If so, help is on the way.


Self-esteem can seem like such an impossible feat to accomplish, and it’s something. How exactly are you supposed to love yourself and let go of your insecurities when it just feels like everyone else is better off than you? But when you’re looking everywhere else, it’s hard to recognize the positive things about yourself.

RELATED: 15 Make-Or-Break Ways Your Self Esteem Affects Your Relationship

If you’re constantly thinking, “I can never be as good/pretty/accomplished as so-and-so,” you’re missing out on all of the wonderful things that you could be doing or offering the world. So just how can you keep these thoughts from dragging you down? Is it really possible to stop this negative trend of self-doubt from destroying your own well being?   


In the video above, wellness coach and YourTango Expert Patty Contenta shares her tips for breaking this unhealthy habit. She says that a good place to start is by redefining love as "feeling good and joyful" in a relationship — and about yourself in general.

"Every day is an opportunity to create moments of joy and love," she says. "How I feel is not dependent on what someone does or does not do, how someone looks or doesn't look like."


It’s so easy to fall into a pattern of comparing yourself to others, and in almost every case, you’re going to feel frustrated with the results.

Maybe you’re even going to feel like you’re inadequate because of what other people have that you don’t. It will begin to look like a giant wall that you can never get over no matter how hard you try to climb it.



The first step in stopping this negative cycle, says Patty Contenta, is to actively be aware of how you think about and talk to yourself.

If you’re constantly comparing yourself and your accomplishments to others, then you’re going to likely be putting yourself down when you don’t see something that you like.

Instead of working toward a goal that will make you happier and healthier, you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re not good enough, and this, in turn, leads to you continually comparing what you have and don’t have with other people. It’s a vicious cycle that only ends up with you feeling terrible at the end of the day.

So if you’re looking to stop the comparisons and find out how to embrace yourself and begin to heal the wounds you’ve given yourself over the years, then check out the YourTango Expert video above! It really is possible to learn to love yourself again and to accept your flaws without hating everything that they represent in your mind.


The problem isn’t other people; it’s the way you’re viewing yourself.

And while it might seem difficult, that’s one problem that you can easily get under control. Want to learn more? Check out the video above!

RELATED: 8 Ways To Recover Your Confidence When You Feel TOTALLY Humiliated


Patty Contenta is a wellness coach who specializes in helping women get their confidence and sensuality back through programs she runs, including Sexy in Seconds and Sensuality Secrets. If you have a question about regaining your self-confidence or want to talk to Patty, you can reach her here. She'd be happy to help!