Self

Weird News: Is Being Nuts About Nuts Good For A Guy's Sperm?

walnut

In my estimation, 75% of science (and 98% of advertising) is one way or the other focused on male virility and potency. And Big Walnut is no exception to the rule. The nut syndicate is crowing over a study that states 2.5 ounces of walnuts per day "improved sperm vitality, motility, and morphology (normal forms) in a group of healthy young men between 21-35 years of age."

The press release goes on to say that 30-50% of infertility cases (I like accuracy 0-100% of the time) are a result of male infertility, AKA sad balls. The boss of the study, Dr. Wendie Robbins, says: "The positive finding of walnuts on sperm may be a result of their unique nutrient profile." Plant-based fatty Omega-3 eschews other nuts for an exclusive relationship with the walnut, though we hear it will be do a guest verse on Drake's next album which drops this winter.

Our friends at io9 cover the rest of the tale regarding nuts enriching a fellow's nut.

This good news couldn't have come at a better time, as nuts have been hurting lately. The spate of nut allergies have made them neither-fruit-nor-vegetable non grata in schools, airplanes and other places in which anaphylaxis would be frowned upon. My college roommate once got a cashew caught in his lung and was nicknamed "Peanut" thereafter. And the term "nuts" was once used as an insulting response to a demand by the Nazis to surrender. But, like any good food source, they grew a pair and kept the sales coming.

And our buds at HowAboutWe bring us a handful of foods that may actively lower sperm count.

Please enjoy the video of Vince from Slap Chop, you're gonna love his nuts.

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